Henry IV, Part 2

INDUCTION

Enter Rumor, painted full of tongues.

RUMOR

Open your ears, for which of you will stop
The vent of hearing when loud Rumor speaks?
I, from the orient to the drooping west,
Making the wind my post-horse, still unfold
55The acts commencèd on this ball of earth.
Upon my tongues continual slanders ride,
The which in every language I pronounce,
Stuffing the ears of men with false reports.
I speak of peace while covert enmity
1010Under the smile of safety wounds the world.
And who but Rumor, who but only I,
Make fearful musters and prepared defense
Whiles the big year, swoll’n with some other grief,
Is thought with child by the stern tyrant war,
1515And no such matter? Rumor is a pipe
Blown by surmises, jealousies, conjectures,
And of so easy and so plain a stop
That the blunt monster with uncounted heads,
The still-discordant wav’ring multitude,
2020Can play upon it. But what need I thus
My well-known body to anatomize
Among my household? Why is Rumor here?
I run before King Harry’s victory,
Who in a bloody field by Shrewsbury
2525Hath beaten down young Hotspur and his troops,
Quenching the flame of bold rebellion
Even with the rebels’ blood. But what mean I
To speak so true at first? My office is
To noise abroad that Harry Monmouth fell
3030Under the wrath of noble Hotspur’s sword,
And that the King before the Douglas’ rage
Stooped his anointed head as low as death.
This have I rumored through the peasant towns
Between that royal field of Shrewsbury
3535And this worm-eaten hold of ragged stone,
Where Hotspur’s father, old Northumberland,
Lies crafty-sick. The posts come tiring on,
And not a man of them brings other news
Than they have learnt of me. From Rumor’s
4040tongues
They bring smooth comforts false, worse than
true wrongs.

Rumor exits.

ACT 1

Scene 1

Enter the Lord Bardolph at one door.

LORD BARDOLPH

Who keeps the gate here, ho?

Enter the Porter.

Where is the Earl?

PORTER

45What shall I say you are?

LORD BARDOLPH

Tell thou the Earl
5That the Lord Bardolph doth attend him here.

PORTER

His Lordship is walked forth into the orchard.
Please it your Honor knock but at the gate
50And he himself will answer.

Enter the Earl Northumberland, his head wrapped in a
kerchief and supporting himself with a crutch.

LORD BARDOLPH

Here comes the Earl.

Porter exits.

NORTHUMBERLAND

10What news, Lord Bardolph? Every minute now
Should be the father of some stratagem.
The times are wild. Contention, like a horse
55Full of high feeding, madly hath broke loose
And bears down all before him.

LORD BARDOLPH

15Noble earl,
I bring you certain news from Shrewsbury.

NORTHUMBERLAND

Good, an God will!

LORD BARDOLPH

60As good as heart can wish.
The King is almost wounded to the death,
20And, in the fortune of my lord your son,
Prince Harry slain outright; and both the Blunts
Killed by the hand of Douglas; young Prince John
65And Westmoreland and Stafford fled the field;
And Harry Monmouth’s brawn, the hulk Sir John,
25Is prisoner to your son. O, such a day,
So fought, so followed, and so fairly won,
Came not till now to dignify the times
70Since Caesar’s fortunes.

NORTHUMBERLAND

How is this derived?
30Saw you the field? Came you from Shrewsbury?

LORD BARDOLPH

I spake with one, my lord, that came from thence,
A gentleman well bred and of good name,
75That freely rendered me these news for true.

Enter Travers.

NORTHUMBERLAND

Here comes my servant Travers, who I sent
35On Tuesday last to listen after news.

LORD BARDOLPH

My lord, I overrode him on the way,
And he is furnished with no certainties
80More than he haply may retail from me.

NORTHUMBERLAND

Now, Travers, what good tidings comes with you?

TRAVERS

40My lord, Sir John Umfrevile turned me back
With joyful tidings and, being better horsed,
Outrode me. After him came spurring hard
85A gentleman, almost forspent with speed,
That stopped by me to breathe his bloodied horse.
45He asked the way to Chester, and of him
I did demand what news from Shrewsbury.
He told me that rebellion had bad luck
90And that young Harry Percy’s spur was cold.
With that he gave his able horse the head
50And, bending forward, struck his armèd heels
Against the panting sides of his poor jade
Up to the rowel-head, and starting so
95He seemed in running to devour the way,
Staying no longer question.

NORTHUMBERLAND

55Ha? Again:
Said he young Harry Percy’s spur was cold?
Of Hotspur, Coldspur? That rebellion
100Had met ill luck?

LORD BARDOLPH

My lord, I’ll tell you what:
60If my young lord your son have not the day,
Upon mine honor, for a silken point
I’ll give my barony. Never talk of it.

NORTHUMBERLAND

105Why should that gentleman that rode by Travers
Give then such instances of loss?

LORD BARDOLPH

65Who, he?
He was some hilding fellow that had stol’n
The horse he rode on and, upon my life,
110Spoke at a venture.

Enter Morton.

Look, here comes more news.

NORTHUMBERLAND

70Yea, this man’s brow, like to a title leaf,
Foretells the nature of a tragic volume.
So looks the strand whereon the imperious flood
115Hath left a witnessed usurpation.—
Say, Morton, didst thou come from Shrewsbury?

MORTON

75I ran from Shrewsbury, my noble lord,
Where hateful death put on his ugliest mask
To fright our party.

NORTHUMBERLAND

120How doth my son and brother?
Thou tremblest, and the whiteness in thy cheek
80Is apter than thy tongue to tell thy errand.
Even such a man, so faint, so spiritless,
So dull, so dead in look, so woebegone,
125Drew Priam’s curtain in the dead of night
And would have told him half his Troy was burnt;
85But Priam found the fire ere he his tongue,
And I my Percy’s death ere thou report’st it.
This thou wouldst say: “Your son did thus and thus;
130Your brother thus; so fought the noble Douglas”—
Stopping my greedy ear with their bold deeds.
90But in the end, to stop my ear indeed,
Thou hast a sigh to blow away this praise,
Ending with “Brother, son, and all are dead.”

MORTON

135Douglas is living, and your brother yet,
But for my lord your son—

NORTHUMBERLAND

95Why, he is dead.
See what a ready tongue suspicion hath!
He that but fears the thing he would not know
140Hath, by instinct, knowledge from others’ eyes
That what he feared is chancèd. Yet speak,
100Morton.
Tell thou an earl his divination lies,
And I will take it as a sweet disgrace
145And make thee rich for doing me such wrong.

MORTON

You are too great to be by me gainsaid,
105Your spirit is too true, your fears too certain.

NORTHUMBERLAND

Yet, for all this, say not that Percy’s dead.
I see a strange confession in thine eye.
150Thou shak’st thy head and hold’st it fear or sin
To speak a truth. If he be slain, say so.
110The tongue offends not that reports his death;
And he doth sin that doth belie the dead,
Not he which says the dead is not alive.
155Yet the first bringer of unwelcome news
Hath but a losing office, and his tongue
115Sounds ever after as a sullen bell
Remembered tolling a departing friend.

LORD BARDOLPH

I cannot think, my lord, your son is dead.

MORTON, to Northumberland

160I am sorry I should force you to believe
That which I would to God I had not seen,
120But these mine eyes saw him in bloody state,
Rend’ring faint quittance, wearied and outbreathed,
To Harry Monmouth, whose swift wrath beat down
165The never-daunted Percy to the earth,
From whence with life he never more sprung up.
125In few, his death, whose spirit lent a fire
Even to the dullest peasant in his camp,
Being bruited once, took fire and heat away
170From the best-tempered courage in his troops;
For from his mettle was his party steeled,
130Which, once in him abated, all the rest
Turned on themselves, like dull and heavy lead.
And as the thing that’s heavy in itself
175Upon enforcement flies with greatest speed,
So did our men, heavy in Hotspur’s loss,
135Lend to this weight such lightness with their fear
That arrows fled not swifter toward their aim
Than did our soldiers, aiming at their safety,
180Fly from the field. Then was that noble Worcester
So soon ta’en prisoner; and that furious Scot,
140The bloody Douglas, whose well-laboring sword
Had three times slain th’ appearance of the King,
Gan vail his stomach and did grace the shame
185Of those that turned their backs and in his flight,
Stumbling in fear, was took. The sum of all
145Is that the King hath won and hath sent out
A speedy power to encounter you, my lord,
Under the conduct of young Lancaster
190And Westmoreland. This is the news at full.

NORTHUMBERLAND

For this I shall have time enough to mourn.
150In poison there is physic, and these news,
Having been well, that would have made me sick,
Being sick, have in some measure made me well.
195And as the wretch whose fever-weakened joints,
Like strengthless hinges, buckle under life,
155Impatient of his fit, breaks like a fire
Out of his keeper’s arms, even so my limbs,
Weakened with grief, being now enraged with
200grief,
Are thrice themselves. Hence therefore, thou
160nice crutch.He throws down his crutch.
A scaly gauntlet now with joints of steel
Must glove this hand. And hence, thou sickly
205coif.He removes his kerchief.
Thou art a guard too wanton for the head
165Which princes, fleshed with conquest, aim to hit.
Now bind my brows with iron, and approach
The ragged’st hour that time and spite dare bring
210To frown upon th’ enraged Northumberland.
Let heaven kiss Earth! Now let not Nature’s hand
170Keep the wild flood confined. Let order die,
And let this world no longer be a stage
To feed contention in a lingering act;
215But let one spirit of the firstborn Cain
Reign in all bosoms, that, each heart being set
175On bloody courses, the rude scene may end,
And darkness be the burier of the dead.

LORD BARDOLPH

This strainèd passion doth you wrong, my lord.

MORTON

220Sweet earl, divorce not wisdom from your honor.
The lives of all your loving complices
180Lean on your health, the which, if you give o’er
To stormy passion, must perforce decay.
You cast th’ event of war, my noble lord,
225And summed the accompt of chance before you
said
185“Let us make head.” It was your presurmise
That in the dole of blows your son might drop.
You knew he walked o’er perils on an edge,
230More likely to fall in than to get o’er.
You were advised his flesh was capable
190Of wounds and scars, and that his forward spirit
Would lift him where most trade of danger
ranged.
235Yet did you say “Go forth,” and none of this,
Though strongly apprehended, could restrain
195The stiff-borne action. What hath then befall’n,
Or what did this bold enterprise bring forth,
More than that being which was like to be?

LORD BARDOLPH

240We all that are engagèd to this loss
Knew that we ventured on such dangerous seas
200That if we wrought out life, ’twas ten to one;
And yet we ventured, for the gain proposed
Choked the respect of likely peril feared;
245And since we are o’erset, venture again.
Come, we will all put forth, body and goods.

MORTON

205’Tis more than time.—And, my most noble lord,
I hear for certain, and dare speak the truth:
The gentle Archbishop of York is up
250With well-appointed powers. He is a man
Who with a double surety binds his followers.
210My lord your son had only but the corpse,
But shadows and the shows of men, to fight;
For that same word “rebellion” did divide
255The action of their bodies from their souls,
And they did fight with queasiness, constrained,
215As men drink potions, that their weapons only
Seemed on our side. But, for their spirits and
souls,
260This word “rebellion,” it had froze them up
As fish are in a pond. But now the Bishop
220Turns insurrection to religion.
Supposed sincere and holy in his thoughts,
He’s followed both with body and with mind,
265And doth enlarge his rising with the blood
Of fair King Richard, scraped from Pomfret
225stones;
Derives from heaven his quarrel and his cause;
Tells them he doth bestride a bleeding land,
270Gasping for life under great Bolingbroke;
And more and less do flock to follow him.

NORTHUMBERLAND

230I knew of this before, but, to speak truth,
This present grief had wiped it from my mind.
Go in with me and counsel every man
275The aptest way for safety and revenge.
Get posts and letters, and make friends with speed.
235Never so few, and never yet more need.

They exit.

Scene 2

Enter Sir John Falstaff, with his Page bearing his sword
and buckler.

FALSTAFF

Sirrah, you giant, what says the doctor to my
water?

PAGE

280He said, sir, the water itself was a good healthy
water, but, for the party that owed it, he might have
5more diseases than he knew for.

FALSTAFF

Men of all sorts take a pride to gird at me.
The brain of this foolish-compounded clay, man, is
285not able to invent anything that intends to laughter
more than I invent, or is invented on me. I am not
10only witty in myself, but the cause that wit is in
other men. I do here walk before thee like a sow
that hath overwhelmed all her litter but one. If the
290Prince put thee into my service for any other reason
than to set me off, why then I have no judgment.
15Thou whoreson mandrake, thou art fitter to be
worn in my cap than to wait at my heels. I was never
manned with an agate till now, but I will inset you
295neither in gold nor silver, but in vile apparel, and
send you back again to your master for a jewel. The
20juvenal, the Prince your master, whose chin is not
yet fledge—I will sooner have a beard grow in the
palm of my hand than he shall get one off his cheek,
300and yet he will not stick to say his face is a face
royal. God may finish it when He will. ’Tis not a hair
25amiss yet. He may keep it still at a face royal, for a
barber shall never earn sixpence out of it, and yet
he’ll be crowing as if he had writ man ever since his
305father was a bachelor. He may keep his own grace,
but he’s almost out of mine, I can assure him. What
30said Master Dommelton about the satin for my
short cloak and my slops?

PAGE

He said, sir, you should procure him better
310assurance than Bardolph. He would not take his
band and yours. He liked not the security.

FALSTAFF

35Let him be damned like the glutton! Pray
God his tongue be hotter! A whoreson Achitophel, a
rascally yea-forsooth knave, to bear a gentleman in
315hand and then stand upon security! The whoreson
smoothy-pates do now wear nothing but high shoes
40and bunches of keys at their girdles; and if a man is
through with them in honest taking up, then they
must stand upon security. I had as lief they would
320put ratsbane in my mouth as offer to stop it with
“security.” I looked he should have sent me two-and-twenty
45yards of satin, as I am a true knight, and
he sends me “security.” Well, he may sleep in
security, for he hath the horn of abundance, and the
325lightness of his wife shines through it, and yet
cannot he see though he have his own lantern to
50light him. Where’s Bardolph?

PAGE

He’s gone in Smithfield to buy your Worship a
horse.

FALSTAFF

330I bought him in Paul’s, and he’ll buy me a
horse in Smithfield. An I could get me but a wife in
55the stews, I were manned, horsed, and wived.

Enter Lord Chief Justice and Servant.

PAGE, to Falstaff

Sir, here comes the nobleman that
committed the Prince for striking him about
335Bardolph.

FALSTAFF

Wait close. I will not see him.

They begin to exit.

CHIEF JUSTICE, to Servant

60What’s he that goes there?

SERVANT

Falstaff, an ’t please your Lordship.

CHIEF JUSTICE

He that was in question for the robbery?

SERVANT

340He, my lord; but he hath since done good
service at Shrewsbury, and, as I hear, is now going
65with some charge to the Lord John of Lancaster.

CHIEF JUSTICE

What, to York? Call him back again.

SERVANT

Sir John Falstaff!

FALSTAFF

345Boy, tell him I am deaf.

PAGE

You must speak louder. My master is deaf.

CHIEF JUSTICE

70I am sure he is, to the hearing of
anything good.—Go pluck him by the elbow. I must
speak with him.

SERVANT, plucking Falstaff’s sleeve

350Sir John!

FALSTAFF

What, a young knave and begging? Is there
75not wars? Is there not employment? Doth not the
King lack subjects? Do not the rebels need soldiers?
Though it be a shame to be on any side but one, it is
355worse shame to beg than to be on the worst side,
were it worse than the name of rebellion can tell
80how to make it.

SERVANT

You mistake me, sir.

FALSTAFF

Why sir, did I say you were an honest man?
360Setting my knighthood and my soldiership aside, I
had lied in my throat if I had said so.

SERVANT

85I pray you, sir, then set your knighthood and
your soldiership aside, and give me leave to tell you,
you lie in your throat if you say I am any other than
365an honest man.

FALSTAFF

I give thee leave to tell me so? I lay aside that
90which grows to me? If thou gett’st any leave of me,
hang me; if thou tak’st leave, thou wert better be
hanged. You hunt counter. Hence! Avaunt!

SERVANT

370Sir, my lord would speak with you.

CHIEF JUSTICE

Sir John Falstaff, a word with you.

FALSTAFF

95My good lord. God give your Lordship good
time of the day. I am glad to see your Lordship
abroad. I heard say your Lordship was sick. I hope
375your Lordship goes abroad by advice. Your Lordship,
though not clean past your youth, have yet
100some smack of an ague in you, some relish of the
saltness of time in you, and I most humbly beseech
your Lordship to have a reverend care of your
380health.

CHIEF JUSTICE

Sir John, I sent for you before your
105expedition to Shrewsbury.

FALSTAFF

An ’t please your Lordship, I hear his Majesty
is returned with some discomfort from Wales.

CHIEF JUSTICE

385I talk not of his Majesty. You would not
come when I sent for you.

FALSTAFF

110And I hear, moreover, his Highness is fallen
into this same whoreson apoplexy.

CHIEF JUSTICE

Well, God mend him. I pray you let me
390speak with you.

FALSTAFF

This apoplexy, as I take it, is a kind of
115lethargy, an ’t please your Lordship, a kind of
sleeping in the blood, a whoreson tingling.

CHIEF JUSTICE

What tell you me of it? Be it as it is.

FALSTAFF

395It hath it original from much grief, from
study, and perturbation of the brain. I have read the
120cause of his effects in Galen. It is a kind of deafness.

CHIEF JUSTICE

I think you are fallen into the disease,
for you hear not what I say to you.

FALSTAFF

400Very well, my lord, very well. Rather, an ’t
please you, it is the disease of not listening, the
125malady of not marking, that I am troubled withal.

CHIEF JUSTICE

To punish you by the heels would amend
the attention of your ears, and I care not if I do
405become your physician.

FALSTAFF

I am as poor as Job, my lord, but not so
130patient. Your Lordship may minister the potion of
imprisonment to me in respect of poverty, but how
I should be your patient to follow your prescriptions,
410the wise may make some dram of a scruple,
or indeed a scruple itself.

CHIEF JUSTICE

135I sent for you, when there were matters
against you for your life, to come speak with me.

FALSTAFF

As I was then advised by my learned counsel
415in the laws of this land-service, I did not come.

CHIEF JUSTICE

Well, the truth is, Sir John, you live in
140great infamy.

FALSTAFF

He that buckles himself in my belt cannot
live in less.

CHIEF JUSTICE

420Your means are very slender, and your
waste is great.

FALSTAFF

145I would it were otherwise. I would my means
were greater and my waist slender.

CHIEF JUSTICE

You have misled the youthful prince.

FALSTAFF

425The young prince hath misled me. I am the
fellow with the great belly, and he my dog.

CHIEF JUSTICE

150Well, I am loath to gall a new-healed
wound. Your day’s service at Shrewsbury hath a
little gilded over your night’s exploit on Gad’s Hill.
430You may thank th’ unquiet time for your quiet
o’erposting that action.

FALSTAFF

155My lord.

CHIEF JUSTICE

But since all is well, keep it so. Wake not
a sleeping wolf.

FALSTAFF

435To wake a wolf is as bad as to smell a fox.

CHIEF JUSTICE

What, you are as a candle, the better
160part burnt out.

FALSTAFF

A wassail candle, my lord, all tallow. If I did
say of wax, my growth would approve the truth.

CHIEF JUSTICE

440There is not a white hair in your face but
should have his effect of gravity.

FALSTAFF

165His effect of gravy, gravy, gravy.

CHIEF JUSTICE

You follow the young prince up and
down like his ill angel.

FALSTAFF

445Not so, my lord. Your ill angel is light, but I
hope he that looks upon me will take me without
170weighing. And yet in some respects I grant I cannot
go. I cannot tell. Virtue is of so little regard in these
costermongers’ times that true valor is turned bearherd;
450pregnancy is made a tapster, and hath his
quick wit wasted in giving reckonings. All the other
175gifts appurtenant to man, as the malice of this age
shapes them, are not worth a gooseberry. You that
are old consider not the capacities of us that are
455young. You do measure the heat of our livers with
the bitterness of your galls, and we that are in the
180vaward of our youth, I must confess, are wags too.

CHIEF JUSTICE

Do you set down your name in the scroll
of youth, that are written down old with all the
460characters of age? Have you not a moist eye, a dry
hand, a yellow cheek, a white beard, a decreasing
185leg, an increasing belly? Is not your voice broken,
your wind short, your chin double, your wit single,
and every part about you blasted with antiquity?
465And will you yet call yourself young? Fie, fie, fie, Sir
John.

FALSTAFF

190My lord, I was born about three of the clock
in the afternoon, with a white head and something
a round belly. For my voice, I have lost it with
470halloing and singing of anthems. To approve my
youth further, I will not. The truth is, I am only old
195in judgment and understanding. And he that will
caper with me for a thousand marks, let him lend
me the money, and have at him. For the box of the
475ear that the Prince gave you, he gave it like a rude
prince, and you took it like a sensible lord. I have
200checked him for it, and the young lion repents.
Aside. Marry, not in ashes and sackcloth, but in
new silk and old sack.

CHIEF JUSTICE

480Well, God send the Prince a better
companion.

FALSTAFF

205God send the companion a better prince. I
cannot rid my hands of him.

CHIEF JUSTICE

Well, the King hath severed you and
485Prince Harry. I hear you are going with Lord John
of Lancaster against the Archbishop and the Earl of
210Northumberland.

FALSTAFF

Yea, I thank your pretty sweet wit for it. But
look you pray, all you that kiss my Lady Peace at
490home, that our armies join not in a hot day, for, by
the Lord, I take but two shirts out with me, and I
215mean not to sweat extraordinarily. If it be a hot day
and I brandish anything but a bottle, I would I
might never spit white again. There is not a dangerous
495action can peep out his head but I am thrust
upon it. Well, I cannot last ever. But it was always
220yet the trick of our English nation, if they have a
good thing, to make it too common. If you will
needs say I am an old man, you should give me rest.
500I would to God my name were not so terrible to the
enemy as it is. I were better to be eaten to death
225with a rust than to be scoured to nothing with
perpetual motion.

CHIEF JUSTICE

Well, be honest, be honest, and God
505bless your expedition.

FALSTAFF

Will your Lordship lend me a thousand
230pound to furnish me forth?

CHIEF JUSTICE

Not a penny, not a penny. You are too
impatient to bear crosses. Fare you well. Commend
510me to my cousin Westmoreland.

Lord Chief Justice and his Servant exit.

FALSTAFF

If I do, fillip me with a three-man beetle. A
235man can no more separate age and covetousness
than he can part young limbs and lechery; but the
gout galls the one, and the pox pinches the other,
515and so both the degrees prevent my curses.—Boy!

PAGE

Sir.

FALSTAFF

240What money is in my purse?

PAGE

Seven groats and two pence.

FALSTAFF

I can get no remedy against this consumption
520of the purse. Borrowing only lingers and lingers
it out, but the disease is incurable. Giving
papers to the Page. 245Go bear this letter to my Lord
of Lancaster, this to the Prince, this to the Earl
of Westmoreland, and this to old Mistress Ursula,
525whom I have weekly sworn to marry since I perceived
the first white hair of my chin. About it. You
250know where to find me. Page exits. A pox of this
gout! Or a gout of this pox, for the one or the other
plays the rogue with my great toe. ’Tis no matter if I
530do halt. I have the wars for my color, and my
pension shall seem the more reasonable. A good wit
255will make use of anything. I will turn diseases to
commodity.

He exits.

Scene 3

Enter th’ Archbishop of York, Thomas Mowbray (Earl
Marshal), the Lord Hastings, and Lord Bardolph.

ARCHBISHOP

Thus have you heard our cause and known our
535means,
And, my most noble friends, I pray you all
Speak plainly your opinions of our hopes.
5And first, Lord Marshal, what say you to it?

MOWBRAY

I well allow the occasion of our arms,
540But gladly would be better satisfied
How in our means we should advance ourselves
To look with forehead bold and big enough
10Upon the power and puissance of the King.

HASTINGS

Our present musters grow upon the file
545To five-and-twenty thousand men of choice,
And our supplies live largely in the hope
Of great Northumberland, whose bosom burns
15With an incensèd fire of injuries.

LORD BARDOLPH

The question, then, Lord Hastings, standeth thus:
550Whether our present five-and-twenty thousand
May hold up head without Northumberland.

HASTINGS

With him we may.

LORD BARDOLPH

20Yea, marry, there’s the point.
But if without him we be thought too feeble,
555My judgment is we should not step too far
Till we had his assistance by the hand.
For in a theme so bloody-faced as this,
25Conjecture, expectation, and surmise
Of aids incertain should not be admitted.

ARCHBISHOP

560’Tis very true, Lord Bardolph, for indeed
It was young Hotspur’s cause at Shrewsbury.

LORD BARDOLPH

It was, my lord; who lined himself with hope,
30Eating the air and promise of supply,
Flatt’ring himself in project of a power
565Much smaller than the smallest of his thoughts,
And so, with great imagination
Proper to madmen, led his powers to death
35And, winking, leapt into destruction.

HASTINGS

But, by your leave, it never yet did hurt
570To lay down likelihoods and forms of hope.

LORD BARDOLPH

Yes, if this present quality of war —
Indeed the instant action, a cause on foot—
40Lives so in hope, as in an early spring
We see th’ appearing buds, which to prove fruit
575Hope gives not so much warrant as despair
That frosts will bite them. When we mean to build,
We first survey the plot, then draw the model,
45And when we see the figure of the house,
Then must we rate the cost of the erection,
580Which if we find outweighs ability,
What do we then but draw anew the model
In fewer offices, or at least desist
50To build at all? Much more in this great work,
Which is almost to pluck a kingdom down
585And set another up, should we survey
The plot of situation and the model,
Consent upon a sure foundation,
55Question surveyors, know our own estate,
How able such a work to undergo,
590To weigh against his opposite. Or else
We fortify in paper and in figures,
Using the names of men instead of men,
60Like one that draws the model of an house
Beyond his power to build it, who, half through,
595Gives o’er and leaves his part-created cost
A naked subject to the weeping clouds
And waste for churlish winter’s tyranny.

HASTINGS

65Grant that our hopes, yet likely of fair birth,
Should be stillborn and that we now possessed
600The utmost man of expectation,
I think we are a body strong enough,
Even as we are, to equal with the King.

LORD BARDOLPH

70What, is the King but five-and-twenty thousand?

HASTINGS

To us no more, nay, not so much, Lord Bardolph,
605For his divisions, as the times do brawl,
Are in three heads: one power against the French,
And one against Glendower; perforce a third
75Must take up us. So is the unfirm king
In three divided, and his coffers sound
610With hollow poverty and emptiness.

ARCHBISHOP

That he should draw his several strengths together
And come against us in full puissance
80Need not to be dreaded.

HASTINGS

If he should do so,
615He leaves his back unarmed, the French and Welsh
Baying him at the heels. Never fear that.

LORD BARDOLPH

Who is it like should lead his forces hither?

HASTINGS

85The Duke of Lancaster and Westmoreland;
Against the Welsh, himself and Harry Monmouth;
620But who is substituted against the French
I have no certain notice.

ARCHBISHOP

Let us on,
90And publish the occasion of our arms.
The commonwealth is sick of their own choice.
625Their over-greedy love hath surfeited.
An habitation giddy and unsure
Hath he that buildeth on the vulgar heart.
95O thou fond many, with what loud applause
Didst thou beat heaven with blessing Bolingbroke
630Before he was what thou wouldst have him be.
And being now trimmed in thine own desires,
Thou, beastly feeder, art so full of him
100That thou provok’st thyself to cast him up.
So, so, thou common dog, didst thou disgorge
635Thy glutton bosom of the royal Richard,
And now thou wouldst eat thy dead vomit up
And howl’st to find it. What trust is in these
105times?
They that, when Richard lived, would have him die
640Are now become enamored on his grave.
Thou, that threw’st dust upon his goodly head
When through proud London he came sighing on
110After th’ admirèd heels of Bolingbroke,
Criest now “O earth, yield us that king again,
645And take thou this!” O thoughts of men accursed!
Past and to come seems best; things present,
worst.

MOWBRAY

115Shall we go draw our numbers and set on?

HASTINGS

We are time’s subjects, and time bids begone.

They exit.

ACT 2

Scene 1

Enter Hostess Quickly of the tavern with two Officers,
Fang and Snare, who lags behind.

HOSTESS

650Master Fang, have you entered the action?

FANG

It is entered.

HOSTESS

Where’s your yeoman? Is ’t a lusty yeoman?
Will he stand to ’t?

FANG, calling

5Sirrah! Where’s Snare?

HOSTESS

655O Lord, ay, good Master Snare.

SNARE, catching up to them

Here, here.

FANG

Snare, we must arrest Sir John Falstaff.

HOSTESS

Yea, good Master Snare, I have entered him
10and all.

SNARE

660It may chance cost some of us our lives, for he
will stab.

HOSTESS

Alas the day, take heed of him. He stabbed me
in mine own house, and that most beastly, in good
15faith. He cares not what mischief he does. If his
665weapon be out, he will foin like any devil. He will
spare neither man, woman, nor child.

FANG

If I can close with him, I care not for his thrust.

HOSTESS

No, nor I neither. I’ll be at your elbow.

FANG

20An I but fist him once, an he come but within my
670view—

HOSTESS

I am undone by his going. I warrant you, he’s
an infinitive thing upon my score. Good Master
Fang, hold him sure. Good Master Snare, let him
25not ’scape. He comes continuantly to Pie Corner,
675saving your manhoods, to buy a saddle, and he is
indited to dinner to the Lubber’s Head in Lumbert
Street, to Master Smooth’s the silkman. I pray you,
since my exion is entered, and my case so openly
30known to the world, let him be brought in to his
680answer. A hundred mark is a long one for a poor
lone woman to bear, and I have borne, and borne,
and borne, and have been fubbed off, and fubbed
off, and fubbed off from this day to that day, that it is
35a shame to be thought on. There is no honesty in
685such dealing, unless a woman should be made an
ass and a beast to bear every knave’s wrong. Yonder
he comes, and that arrant malmsey-nose knave,
Bardolph, with him. Do your offices, do your offices,
40Master Fang and Master Snare, do me, do me,
690do me your offices.

Enter Sir John Falstaff and Bardolph, and the Page.

FALSTAFF

How now, whose mare’s dead? What’s the
matter?

FANG

Sir John, I arrest you at the suit of Mistress
45Quickly.

FALSTAFF

695Away, varlets!—Draw, Bardolph. Cut me off
the villain’s head. Throw the quean in the
channel.

They draw.

HOSTESS

Throw me in the channel? I’ll throw thee in
50the channel. Wilt thou, wilt thou, thou bastardly
700rogue?—Murder, murder!—Ah, thou honeysuckle
villain, wilt thou kill God’s officers and the King’s?
Ah, thou honeyseed rogue, thou art a honeyseed, a
man-queller, and a woman-queller.

FALSTAFF

55Keep them off, Bardolph.

OFFICERS

705A rescue, a rescue!

HOSTESS

Good people, bring a rescue or two.—Thou
wot, wot thou? Thou wot, wot ta? Do, do, thou
rogue. Do, thou hempseed.

PAGE

60Away, you scullion, you rampallian, you fustilarian!
710I’ll tickle your catastrophe.

Enter Lord Chief Justice and his Men.

CHIEF JUSTICE

What is the matter? Keep the peace here, ho!

HOSTESS

Good my lord, be good to me. I beseech you
stand to me.

CHIEF JUSTICE

65How now, Sir John? What, are you brawling here?
715Doth this become your place, your time, and
business?
You should have been well on your way to York.—
Stand from him, fellow. Wherefore hang’st thou
70upon him?

HOSTESS

720O my most worshipful lord, an ’t please your
Grace, I am a poor widow of Eastcheap, and he is
arrested at my suit.

CHIEF JUSTICE

For what sum?

HOSTESS

75It is more than for some, my lord; it is for all I
725have. He hath eaten me out of house and home. He
hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his.
To Falstaff. But I will have some of it out again, or I
will ride thee o’ nights like the mare.

FALSTAFF

80I think I am as like to ride the mare if I have
730any vantage of ground to get up.

CHIEF JUSTICE

How comes this, Sir John? Fie, what
man of good temper would endure this tempest of
exclamation? Are you not ashamed to enforce a
85poor widow to so rough a course to come by her
735own?

FALSTAFF

What is the gross sum that I owe thee?

HOSTESS

Marry, if thou wert an honest man, thyself
and the money too. Thou didst swear to me upon a
90parcel-gilt goblet, sitting in my Dolphin chamber at
740the round table by a sea-coal fire, upon Wednesday
in Wheeson week, when the Prince broke thy head
for liking his father to a singing-man of Windsor,
thou didst swear to me then, as I was washing thy
95wound, to marry me and make me my lady thy wife.
745Canst thou deny it? Did not Goodwife Keech, the
butcher’s wife, come in then and call me Gossip
Quickly, coming in to borrow a mess of vinegar,
telling us she had a good dish of prawns, whereby
100thou didst desire to eat some, whereby I told thee
750they were ill for a green wound? And didst thou not,
when she was gone downstairs, desire me to be no
more so familiarity with such poor people, saying
that ere long they should call me madam? And didst
105thou not kiss me and bid me fetch thee thirty
755shillings? I put thee now to thy book-oath. Deny it if
thou canst.

FALSTAFF

My lord, this is a poor mad soul, and she says
up and down the town that her eldest son is like
110you. She hath been in good case, and the truth is,
760poverty hath distracted her. But, for these foolish
officers, I beseech you I may have redress against
them.

CHIEF JUSTICE

Sir John, Sir John, I am well acquainted
115with your manner of wrenching the true cause the
765false way. It is not a confident brow, nor the throng
of words that come with such more than impudent
sauciness from you, can thrust me from a level
consideration. You have, as it appears to me, practiced
120upon the easy-yielding spirit of this woman,
770and made her serve your uses both in purse and in
person.

HOSTESS

Yea, in truth, my lord.

CHIEF JUSTICE

Pray thee, peace.—Pay her the debt you
125owe her, and unpay the villainy you have done with
775her. The one you may do with sterling money, and
the other with current repentance.

FALSTAFF

My lord, I will not undergo this sneap without
reply. You call honorable boldness “impudent
130sauciness.” If a man will make curtsy and say
780nothing, he is virtuous. No, my lord, my humble
duty remembered, I will not be your suitor. I say to
you, I do desire deliverance from these officers,
being upon hasty employment in the King’s affairs.

CHIEF JUSTICE

135You speak as having power to do wrong;
785but answer in th’ effect of your reputation, and
satisfy the poor woman.

FALSTAFF

Come hither, hostess.

He speaks aside to the Hostess.Enter a Messenger, Master Gower.

CHIEF JUSTICE

Now, Master Gower, what news?

GOWER

140The King, my lord, and Harry Prince of Wales
790Are near at hand. The rest the paper tells.

He gives the Chief Justice a paper to read.

FALSTAFF, to the Hostess

As I am a gentleman!

HOSTESS

Faith, you said so before.

FALSTAFF

As I am a gentleman. Come. No more words
145of it.

HOSTESS

795By this heavenly ground I tread on, I must be
fain to pawn both my plate and the tapestry of my
dining chambers.

FALSTAFF

Glasses, glasses, is the only drinking. And for
150thy walls, a pretty slight drollery, or the story of the
800Prodigal or the German hunting in waterwork is
worth a thousand of these bed-hangers and these
fly-bitten tapestries. Let it be ten pound, if thou
canst. Come, an ’twere not for thy humors, there’s
155not a better wench in England. Go wash thy face,
805and draw the action. Come, thou must not be in this
humor with me. Dost not know me? Come, come. I
know thou wast set on to this.

HOSTESS

Pray thee, Sir John, let it be but twenty
160nobles. I’ faith, I am loath to pawn my plate, so God
810save me, la.

FALSTAFF

Let it alone. I’ll make other shift. You’ll be a
fool still.

HOSTESS

Well, you shall have it, though I pawn my
165gown. I hope you’ll come to supper. You’ll pay
815me all together?

FALSTAFF

Will I live? Aside to Bardolph. Go with her,
with her. Hook on, hook on.

HOSTESS

Will you have Doll Tearsheet meet you at
170supper?

FALSTAFF

820No more words. Let’s have her.

Hostess, Fang, Snare, Bardolph, Page,
and others exit.

CHIEF JUSTICE, to Gower

I have heard better news.

FALSTAFF, to Chief Justice

What’s the news, my good
lord?

CHIEF JUSTICE, to Gower

175Where lay the King
825tonight?

GOWER

At Basingstoke, my lord.

FALSTAFF, to Chief Justice

I hope, my lord, all’s
well. What is the news, my lord?

CHIEF JUSTICE, to Gower

180Come all his forces back?

GOWER

830No. Fifteen hundred foot, five hundred horse
Are marched up to my Lord of Lancaster
Against Northumberland and the Archbishop.

FALSTAFF, to Chief Justice

Comes the King back from Wales, my noble lord?

CHIEF JUSTICE, to Gower

185You shall have letters of me presently.
835Come. Go along with me, good Master Gower.

FALSTAFF

My lord!

CHIEF JUSTICE

What’s the matter?

FALSTAFF

Master Gower, shall I entreat you with me to
190dinner?

GOWER

840I must wait upon my good lord here. I thank
you, good Sir John.

CHIEF JUSTICE

Sir John, you loiter here too long, being
you are to take soldiers up in counties as you go.

FALSTAFF

195Will you sup with me, Master Gower?

CHIEF JUSTICE

845What foolish master taught you these
manners, Sir John?

FALSTAFF

Master Gower, if they become me not, he was
a fool that taught them me.—This is the right
200fencing grace, my lord: tap for tap, and so part fair.

CHIEF JUSTICE

850Now the Lord lighten thee. Thou art a
great fool.

They separate and exit.

Scene 2

Enter the Prince and Poins.

PRINCE

Before God, I am exceeding weary.

POINS

Is ’t come to that? I had thought weariness durst
not have attached one of so high blood.

PRINCE

855Faith, it does me, though it discolors the complexion
5of my greatness to acknowledge it. Doth it
not show vilely in me to desire small beer?

POINS

Why, a prince should not be so loosely studied
as to remember so weak a composition.

PRINCE

860Belike then my appetite was not princely got,
10for, by my troth, I do now remember the poor
creature small beer. But indeed these humble considerations
make me out of love with my greatness.
What a disgrace is it to me to remember thy name,
865or to know thy face tomorrow, or to take note how
15many pair of silk stockings thou hast—with these,
and those that were thy peach-colored ones—or to
bear the inventory of thy shirts, as, one for superfluity
and another for use. But that the tennis-court
870keeper knows better than I, for it is a low ebb of
20linen with thee when thou keepest not racket there,
as thou hast not done a great while, because the rest
of the low countries have made a shift to eat up thy
holland; and God knows whether those that bawl
875out the ruins of thy linen shall inherit His kingdom;
25but the midwives say the children are not in the
fault, whereupon the world increases and kindreds
are mightily strengthened.

POINS

How ill it follows, after you have labored so
880hard, you should talk so idly! Tell me, how many
30good young princes would do so, their fathers being
so sick as yours at this time is?

PRINCE

Shall I tell thee one thing, Poins?

POINS

Yes, faith, and let it be an excellent good thing.

PRINCE

885It shall serve among wits of no higher breeding
35than thine.

POINS

Go to. I stand the push of your one thing that
you will tell.

PRINCE

Marry, I tell thee it is not meet that I should be
890sad, now my father is sick—albeit I could tell to
40thee, as to one it pleases me, for fault of a better, to
call my friend, I could be sad, and sad indeed too.

POINS

Very hardly, upon such a subject.

PRINCE

By this hand, thou thinkest me as far in the
895devil’s book as thou and Falstaff for obduracy and
45persistency. Let the end try the man. But I tell thee,
my heart bleeds inwardly that my father is so sick;
and keeping such vile company as thou art hath in
reason taken from me all ostentation of sorrow.

POINS

900The reason?

PRINCE

50What wouldst thou think of me if I should
weep?

POINS

I would think thee a most princely hypocrite.

PRINCE

It would be every man’s thought, and thou art
905a blessed fellow to think as every man thinks. Never
55a man’s thought in the world keeps the roadway
better than thine. Every man would think me an
hypocrite indeed. And what accites your most worshipful
thought to think so?

POINS

910Why, because you have been so lewd and so
60much engraffed to Falstaff.

PRINCE

And to thee.

POINS

By this light, I am well spoke on. I can hear it
with mine own ears. The worst that they can say of
915me is that I am a second brother, and that I am a
65proper fellow of my hands; and those two things, I
confess, I cannot help. By the Mass, here comes
Bardolph.

Enter Bardolph and Page.

PRINCE

And the boy that I gave Falstaff. He had him
920from me Christian, and look if the fat villain have
70not transformed him ape.

BARDOLPH

God save your Grace.

PRINCE

And yours, most noble Bardolph.

POINS, to Bardolph

Come, you virtuous ass, you bashful
925fool, must you be blushing? Wherefore blush
75you now? What a maidenly man-at-arms are you
become! Is ’t such a matter to get a pottle-pot’s
maidenhead?

PAGE

He calls me e’en now, my lord, through a red
930lattice, and I could discern no part of his face from
80the window. At last I spied his eyes, and methought
he had made two holes in the ale-wife’s new
petticoat and so peeped through.

PRINCE

Has not the boy profited?

BARDOLPH, to Page

935Away, you whoreson upright rabbit,
85away!

PAGE

Away, you rascally Althea’s dream, away!

PRINCE

Instruct us, boy. What dream, boy?

PAGE

Marry, my lord, Althea dreamt she was delivered
940of a firebrand, and therefore I call him her dream.

PRINCE

90A crown’s worth of good interpretation. There
’tis, boy.

He gives the Page money.

POINS

O, that this good blossom could be kept from
cankers! Well, there is sixpence to preserve thee.

He gives the Page money.

BARDOLPH

945An you do not make him be hanged among
95you, the gallows shall have wrong.

PRINCE

And how doth thy master, Bardolph?

BARDOLPH

Well, my good lord. He heard of your
Grace’s coming to town. There’s a letter for you.

He gives the Prince a paper.

POINS

950Delivered with good respect. And how doth the
100Martlemas your master?

BARDOLPH

In bodily health, sir.

POINS

Marry, the immortal part needs a physician, but
that moves not him. Though that be sick, it dies not.

PRINCE

955I do allow this wen to be as familiar with me as
105my dog, and he holds his place, for look you how he
writes.

He shows the letter to Poins.

POINS reads the superscription

John Falstaff, knight.
Every man must know that as oft as he has occasion
960to name himself, even like those that are kin to the
110King, for they never prick their finger but they say
“There’s some of the King’s blood spilt.” “How
comes that?” says he that takes upon him not to
conceive. The answer is as ready as a borrower’s
965cap: “I am the King’s poor cousin, sir.”

PRINCE

115Nay, they will be kin to us, or they will fetch it
from Japheth. But to the letter: Reads. Sir John
Falstaff, knight, to the son of the King nearest his
father, Harry Prince of Wales, greeting.

POINS

970Why, this is a certificate.

PRINCE

120Peace!
Reads. I will imitate the honorable Romans in
brevity.

POINS

He sure means brevity in breath, short-winded.

PRINCE reads

975I commend me to thee, I commend thee,
125and I leave thee. Be not too familiar with Poins, for he
misuses thy favors so much that he swears thou art to
marry his sister Nell. Repent at idle times as thou
mayst, and so farewell.
980Thine by yea and no, which is as much as
130to say, as thou usest him,
Jack Falstaff with my familiars,
John with my brothers and sisters, and
Sir John with all Europe.

POINS

985My lord, I’ll steep this letter in sack and make
135him eat it.

PRINCE

That’s to make him eat twenty of his words.
But do you use me thus, Ned? Must I marry your
sister?

POINS

990God send the wench no worse fortune! But I
140never said so.

PRINCE

Well, thus we play the fools with the time, and
the spirits of the wise sit in the clouds and mock us.
To Bardolph. Is your master here in London?

BARDOLPH

995Yea, my lord.

PRINCE

145Where sups he? Doth the old boar feed in the
old frank?

BARDOLPH

At the old place, my lord, in Eastcheap.

PRINCE

What company?

PAGE

1000Ephesians, my lord, of the old church.

PRINCE

150Sup any women with him?

PAGE

None, my lord, but old Mistress Quickly and
Mistress Doll Tearsheet.

PRINCE

What pagan may that be?

PAGE

1005A proper gentlewoman, sir, and a kinswoman of
155my master’s.

PRINCE

Even such kin as the parish heifers are to the
town bull.—Shall we steal upon them, Ned, at
supper?

POINS

1010I am your shadow, my lord. I’ll follow you.

PRINCE

160Sirrah—you, boy—and Bardolph, no word to
your master that I am yet come to town. There’s for
your silence.

He gives money.

BARDOLPH

I have no tongue, sir.

PAGE

1015And for mine, sir, I will govern it.

PRINCE

165Fare you well. Go.Bardolph and Page exit.
This Doll Tearsheet should be some road.

POINS

I warrant you, as common as the way between
Saint Albans and London.

PRINCE

1020How might we see Falstaff bestow himself
170tonight in his true colors, and not ourselves be
seen?

POINS

Put on two leathern jerkins and aprons, and
wait upon him at his table as drawers.

PRINCE

1025From a god to a bull: a heavy descension. It
175was Jove’s case. From a prince to a ’prentice: a low
transformation that shall be mine, for in everything
the purpose must weigh with the folly. Follow me,
Ned.

They exit.

Scene 3

Enter Northumberland, his wife, and the wife to
Harry Percy.

NORTHUMBERLAND

1030I pray thee, loving wife and gentle daughter,
Give even way unto my rough affairs.
Put not you on the visage of the times
And be, like them, to Percy troublesome.

LADY NORTHUMBERLAND

5I have given over. I will speak no more.
1035Do what you will; your wisdom be your guide.

NORTHUMBERLAND

Alas, sweet wife, my honor is at pawn,
And, but my going, nothing can redeem it.

LADY PERCY

O yet, for God’s sake, go not to these wars.
10The time was, father, that you broke your word
1040When you were more endeared to it than now,
When your own Percy, when my heart’s dear Harry,
Threw many a northward look to see his father
Bring up his powers; but he did long in vain.
15Who then persuaded you to stay at home?
1045There were two honors lost, yours and your son’s.
For yours, the God of heaven brighten it.
For his, it stuck upon him as the sun
In the gray vault of heaven, and by his light
20Did all the chivalry of England move
1050To do brave acts. He was indeed the glass
Wherein the noble youth did dress themselves.
He had no legs that practiced not his gait;
And speaking thick, which nature made his blemish,
25Became the accents of the valiant;
1055For those that could speak low and tardily
Would turn their own perfection to abuse
To seem like him. So that in speech, in gait,
In diet, in affections of delight,
30In military rules, humors of blood,
1060He was the mark and glass, copy and book,
That fashioned others. And him—O wondrous him!
O miracle of men!—him did you leave,
Second to none, unseconded by you,
35To look upon the hideous god of war
1065In disadvantage, to abide a field
Where nothing but the sound of Hotspur’s name
Did seem defensible. So you left him.
Never, O never, do his ghost the wrong
40To hold your honor more precise and nice
1070With others than with him. Let them alone.
The Marshal and the Archbishop are strong.
Had my sweet Harry had but half their numbers,
Today might I, hanging on Hotspur’s neck,
45Have talked of Monmouth’s grave.

NORTHUMBERLAND

1075Beshrew your
heart,
Fair daughter, you do draw my spirits from me
With new lamenting ancient oversights.
50But I must go and meet with danger there,
1080Or it will seek me in another place
And find me worse provided.

LADY NORTHUMBERLAND

O, fly to Scotland
Till that the nobles and the armèd commons
55Have of their puissance made a little taste.

LADY PERCY

1085If they get ground and vantage of the King,
Then join you with them like a rib of steel
To make strength stronger; but, for all our loves,
First let them try themselves. So did your son;
60He was so suffered. So came I a widow,
1090And never shall have length of life enough
To rain upon remembrance with mine eyes
That it may grow and sprout as high as heaven
For recordation to my noble husband.

NORTHUMBERLAND

65Come, come, go in with me. ’Tis with my mind
1095As with the tide swelled up unto his height,
That makes a still-stand, running neither way.
Fain would I go to meet the Archbishop,
But many thousand reasons hold me back.
70I will resolve for Scotland. There am I
1100Till time and vantage crave my company.

They exit.

Scene 4

Enter Francis and another Drawer.

FRANCIS

What the devil hast thou brought there—
applejohns? Thou knowest Sir John cannot endure
an applejohn.

SECOND DRAWER

Mass, thou sayst true. The Prince
51105once set a dish of applejohns before him and told
him there were five more Sir Johns and, putting off
his hat, said “I will now take my leave of these six
dry, round, old, withered knights.” It angered him
to the heart. But he hath forgot that.

FRANCIS

101110Why then, cover and set them down, and see if
thou canst find out Sneak’s noise. Mistress Tearsheet
would fain hear some music. Dispatch. The
room where they supped is too hot. They’ll come in
straight.

Enter Will.

WILL

151115Sirrah, here will be the Prince and Master
Poins anon, and they will put on two of our jerkins
and aprons, and Sir John must not know of it.
Bardolph hath brought word.

SECOND DRAWER

By the Mass, here will be old utis. It
201120will be an excellent stratagem.

FRANCIS

I’ll see if I can find out Sneak.

He exits with the Second Drawer.Enter Hostess and Doll Tearsheet.

HOSTESS

I’ faith, sweetheart, methinks now you are in
an excellent good temperality. Your pulsidge beats
as extraordinarily as heart would desire, and your
251125color, I warrant you, is as red as any rose, in good
truth, la. But, i’ faith, you have drunk too much
canaries, and that’s a marvellous searching wine,
and it perfumes the blood ere one can say “What’s
this?” How do you now?

DOLL

301130Better than I was. Hem.

HOSTESS

Why, that’s well said. A good heart’s worth
gold. Lo, here comes Sir John.

Enter Sir John Falstaff.

FALSTAFF, singing

When Arthur first in court—
To Will. Empty the jordan.Will exits.
351135And was a worthy king—
How now, Mistress Doll?

HOSTESS

Sick of a calm, yea, good faith.

FALSTAFF

So is all her sect. An they be once in a calm,
they are sick.

DOLL

401140A pox damn you, you muddy rascal. Is that all the
comfort you give me?

FALSTAFF

You make fat rascals, Mistress Doll.

DOLL

I make them? Gluttony and diseases make them;
I make them not.

FALSTAFF

451145If the cook help to make the gluttony, you
help to make the diseases, Doll. We catch of you,
Doll, we catch of you. Grant that, my poor virtue,
grant that.

DOLL

Yea, joy, our chains and our jewels.

FALSTAFF

501150Your brooches, pearls, and ouches—for to
serve bravely is to come halting off, you know; to
come off the breach with his pike bent bravely, and
to surgery bravely, to venture upon the charged
chambers bravely—

DOLL

551155Hang yourself, you muddy conger, hang yourself!

HOSTESS

By my troth, this is the old fashion. You two
never meet but you fall to some discord. You are
both, i’ good truth, as rheumatic as two dry toasts.
You cannot one bear with another’s confirmities.
601160What the good-year! One must bear, and to Doll
that must be you. You are the weaker vessel, as they
say, the emptier vessel.

DOLL

Can a weak empty vessel bear such a huge full
hogshead? There’s a whole merchant’s venture of
651165Bordeaux stuff in him. You have not seen a hulk
better stuffed in the hold.—Come, I’ll be friends
with thee, Jack. Thou art going to the wars, and
whether I shall ever see thee again or no, there is
nobody cares.

Enter Drawer.

DRAWER

701170Sir, Ancient Pistol’s below and would speak
with you.

DOLL

Hang him, swaggering rascal! Let him not come
hither. It is the foul-mouthed’st rogue in England.

HOSTESS

If he swagger, let him not come here. No, by
751175my faith, I must live among my neighbors. I’ll no
swaggerers. I am in good name and fame with the
very best. Shut the door. There comes no swaggerers
here. I have not lived all this while to have
swaggering now. Shut the door, I pray you.

FALSTAFF

801180Dost thou hear, hostess?

HOSTESS

Pray you pacify yourself, Sir John. There
comes no swaggerers here.

FALSTAFF

Dost thou hear? It is mine ancient.

HOSTESS

Tilly-vally, Sir John, ne’er tell me. And your
851185ancient swaggerer comes not in my doors. I was
before Master Tisick the debuty t’ other day, and, as
he said to me—’twas no longer ago than Wednesday
last, i’ good faith—“Neighbor Quickly,” says
he—Master Dumb, our minister, was by then—
901190“Neighbor Quickly,” says he, “receive those that
are civil, for,” said he, “you are in an ill name.”
Now he said so, I can tell whereupon. “For,” says
he, “you are an honest woman, and well thought
on. Therefore take heed what guests you receive.
951195Receive,” says he, “no swaggering companions.”
There comes none here. You would bless you to
hear what he said. No, I’ll no swaggerers.

FALSTAFF

He’s no swaggerer, hostess, a tame cheater, i’
faith. You may stroke him as gently as a puppy
1001200greyhound. He’ll not swagger with a Barbary hen if
her feathers turn back in any show of resistance.—
Call him up, drawer.

Drawer exits.

HOSTESS

“Cheater” call you him? I will bar no honest
man my house, nor no cheater, but I do not love
1051205swaggering. By my troth, I am the worse when one
says “swagger.” Feel, masters, how I shake; look
you, I warrant you.

DOLL

So you do, hostess.

HOSTESS

Do I? Yea, in very truth, do I, an ’twere an
1101210aspen leaf. I cannot abide swaggerers.

Enter Ancient Pistol, Bardolph, and Page.

PISTOL

God save you, Sir John.

FALSTAFF

Welcome, Ancient Pistol. Here, Pistol, I
charge you with a cup of sack. Do you discharge
upon mine hostess.

PISTOL

1151215I will discharge upon her, Sir John, with two
bullets.

FALSTAFF

She is pistol-proof. Sir, you shall not hardly
offend her.

HOSTESS

Come, I’ll drink no proofs nor no bullets. I’ll
1201220drink no more than will do me good, for no man’s
pleasure, I.

PISTOL

Then, to you, Mistress Dorothy! I will charge
you.

DOLL

Charge me? I scorn you, scurvy companion.
1251225What, you poor, base, rascally, cheating lack-linen
mate! Away, you mouldy rogue, away! I am meat for
your master.

PISTOL

I know you, Mistress Dorothy.

DOLL

Away, you cutpurse rascal, you filthy bung, away!
1301230By this wine, I’ll thrust my knife in your mouldy
chaps an you play the saucy cuttle with me. Away,
you bottle-ale rascal, you basket-hilt stale juggler,
you. Since when, I pray you, sir? God’s light, with
two points on your shoulder? Much!

PISTOL

1351235God let me not live but I will murder your ruff
for this.

FALSTAFF

No more, Pistol. I would not have you go off
here. Discharge yourself of our company, Pistol.

HOSTESS

No, good Captain Pistol, not here, sweet
1401240captain!

DOLL

Captain? Thou abominable damned cheater, art
thou not ashamed to be called captain? An captains
were of my mind, they would truncheon you out for
taking their names upon you before you have
1451245earned them. You a captain? You slave, for what?
For tearing a poor whore’s ruff in a bawdy house?
He a captain! Hang him, rogue. He lives upon
mouldy stewed prunes and dried cakes. A captain?
God’s light, these villains will make the word as
1501250odious as the word “occupy,” which was an excellent
good word before it was ill sorted. Therefore
captains had need look to ’t.

BARDOLPH, to Pistol

Pray thee go down, good ancient.

FALSTAFF

Hark thee hither, Mistress Doll.

PISTOL, to Bardolph

1551255Not I. I tell thee what, Corporal
Bardolph, I could tear her. I’ll be revenged of her.

PAGE

Pray thee go down.

PISTOL

I’ll see her damned first to Pluto’s damnèd
lake, by this hand, to th’ infernal deep with Erebus
1601260and tortures vile also. Hold hook and line, say I.
Down, down, dogs! Down, Fates! Have we not
Hiren here?

He draws his sword.

HOSTESS

Good Captain Peesell, be quiet. ’Tis very late,
i’ faith. I beseek you now, aggravate your choler.

PISTOL

1651265These be good humors indeed. Shall pack-horses
and hollow pampered jades of Asia, which
cannot go but thirty mile a day, compare with
Caesars and with cannibals and Troyant Greeks?
Nay, rather damn them with King Cerberus, and let
1701270the welkin roar. Shall we fall foul for toys?

HOSTESS

By my troth, captain, these are very bitter
words.

BARDOLPH

Begone, good ancient. This will grow to a
brawl anon.

PISTOL

1751275Die men like dogs! Give crowns like pins! Have
we not Hiren here?

HOSTESS

O’ my word, captain, there’s none such here.
What the good-year, do you think I would deny her?
For God’s sake, be quiet.

PISTOL

1801280Then feed and be fat, my fair Calipolis. Come,
give ’s some sack. Si fortune me tormente, sperato
me contento. Fear we broadsides? No, let the fiend
give fire. Give me some sack, and, sweetheart, lie
thou there. Laying down his sword. Come we to
1851285full points here? And are etceteras nothings?

FALSTAFF

Pistol, I would be quiet.

PISTOL

Sweet knight, I kiss thy neaf. What, we have
seen the seven stars.

DOLL

For God’s sake, thrust him downstairs. I cannot
1901290endure such a fustian rascal.

PISTOL

“Thrust him downstairs”? Know we not Galloway
nags?

FALSTAFF

Quoit him down, Bardolph, like a shove-groat
shilling. Nay, an he do nothing but speak
1951295nothing, he shall be nothing here.

BARDOLPH

Come, get you downstairs.

PISTOL, taking up his sword

What, shall we have
incision? Shall we imbrue? Then death rock me
asleep, abridge my doleful days. Why then, let
2001300grievous, ghastly, gaping wounds untwind the Sisters
Three. Come, Atropos, I say.

HOSTESS

Here’s goodly stuff toward!

FALSTAFF

Give me my rapier, boy.

DOLL

I pray thee, Jack, I pray thee do not draw.

FALSTAFF, to Pistol

2051305Get you downstairs.

They fight.

HOSTESS

Here’s a goodly tumult. I’ll forswear keeping
house afore I’ll be in these tirrits and frights. So,
murder, I warrant now. Alas, alas, put up your
naked weapons, put up your naked weapons.

Bardolph and Pistol exit.

DOLL

2101310I pray thee, Jack, be quiet. The rascal’s gone. Ah,
you whoreson little valiant villain, you.

HOSTESS, to Falstaff

Are you not hurt i’ th’ groin?
Methought he made a shrewd thrust at your belly.

Enter Bardolph.

FALSTAFF

Have you turned him out o’ doors?

BARDOLPH

2151315Yea, sir. The rascal’s drunk. You have hurt
him, sir, i’ th’ shoulder.

FALSTAFF

A rascal to brave me!

DOLL

Ah, you sweet little rogue, you. Alas, poor ape,
how thou sweat’st! Come, let me wipe thy face.
2201320Come on, you whoreson chops. Ah, rogue, i’ faith, I
love thee. Thou art as valorous as Hector of Troy,
worth five of Agamemnon, and ten times better
than the Nine Worthies. Ah, villain!

FALSTAFF

Ah, rascally slave! I will toss the rogue in a
2251325blanket.

DOLL

Do, an thou darest for thy heart. An thou dost, I’ll
canvass thee between a pair of sheets.

Enter Musicians and Francis.

PAGE

The music is come, sir.

FALSTAFF

Let them play.—Play, sirs.—Sit on my knee,
2301330Doll. A rascal bragging slave! The rogue fled from
me like quicksilver.

DOLL

I’ faith, and thou followed’st him like a church.
Thou whoreson little tidy Bartholomew boar-pig,
when wilt thou leave fighting a-days and foining a-nights
2351335and begin to patch up thine old body for
heaven?

Enter behind them Prince and Poins disguised.

FALSTAFF

Peace, good Doll. Do not speak like a death’s-head;
do not bid me remember mine end.

DOLL

Sirrah, what humor’s the Prince of?

FALSTAFF

2401340A good shallow young fellow, he would have
made a good pantler; he would ’a chipped bread
well.

DOLL

They say Poins has a good wit.

FALSTAFF

He a good wit? Hang him, baboon. His wit’s
2451345as thick as Tewkesbury mustard. There’s no more
conceit in him than is in a mallet.

DOLL

Why does the Prince love him so then?

FALSTAFF

Because their legs are both of a bigness, and
he plays at quoits well, and eats conger and fennel,
2501350and drinks off candles’ ends for flap-dragons, and
rides the wild mare with the boys, and jumps upon
joint stools, and swears with a good grace, and
wears his boots very smooth like unto the sign of
the Leg, and breeds no bate with telling of discreet
2551355stories, and such other gambol faculties he has that
show a weak mind and an able body, for the which
the Prince admits him; for the Prince himself is
such another. The weight of a hair will turn the
scales between their avoirdupois.

PRINCE, aside to Poins

2601360Would not this nave of a wheel
have his ears cut off?

POINS

Let’s beat him before his whore.

PRINCE

Look whe’er the withered elder hath not his
poll clawed like a parrot.

POINS

2651365Is it not strange that desire should so many years
outlive performance?

FALSTAFF

Kiss me, Doll.

PRINCE, aside to Poins

Saturn and Venus this year in
conjunction! What says th’ almanac to that?

POINS

2701370And look whether the fiery trigon, his man, be
not lisping to his master’s old tables, his notebook,
his counsel keeper.

FALSTAFF, to Doll

Thou dost give me flattering busses.

DOLL

By my troth, I kiss thee with a most constant
2751375heart.

FALSTAFF

I am old, I am old.

DOLL

I love thee better than I love e’er a scurvy young
boy of them all.

FALSTAFF

What stuff wilt thou have a kirtle of? I shall
2801380receive money o’ Thursday; thou shalt have a cap
tomorrow. A merry song! Come, it grows late. We’ll
to bed. Thou ’lt forget me when I am gone.

DOLL

By my troth, thou ’lt set me a-weeping an thou
sayst so. Prove that ever I dress myself handsome till
2851385thy return. Well, harken a’ th’ end.

FALSTAFF

Some sack, Francis.

PRINCE, POINS, coming forward

Anon, anon, sir.

FALSTAFF

Ha? A bastard son of the King’s?—And art
not thou Poins his brother?

PRINCE

2901390Why, thou globe of sinful continents, what a
life dost thou lead?

FALSTAFF

A better than thou. I am a gentleman. Thou
art a drawer.

PRINCE

Very true, sir, and I come to draw you out by
2951395the ears.

HOSTESS

O, the Lord preserve thy good Grace! By my
troth, welcome to London. Now the Lord bless that
sweet face of thine. O Jesu, are you come from
Wales?

FALSTAFF, to Prince

3001400Thou whoreson mad compound
of majesty, by this light flesh and corrupt blood,
thou art welcome.

DOLL

How? You fat fool, I scorn you.

POINS

My lord, he will drive you out of your revenge
3051405and turn all to a merriment if you take not the heat.

PRINCE, to Falstaff

You whoreson candle-mine, you,
how vilely did you speak of me even now before
this honest, virtuous, civil gentlewoman!

HOSTESS

God’s blessing of your good heart, and so she
3101410is, by my troth.

FALSTAFF, to Prince

Didst thou hear me?

PRINCE

Yea, and you knew me as you did when you ran
away by Gad’s Hill. You knew I was at your back,
and spoke it on purpose to try my patience.

FALSTAFF

3151415No, no, no, not so. I did not think thou wast
within hearing.

PRINCE

I shall drive you, then, to confess the wilfull
abuse, and then I know how to handle you.

FALSTAFF

No abuse, Hal, o’ mine honor, no abuse.

PRINCE

3201420Not to dispraise me and call me pantler and
bread-chipper and I know not what?

FALSTAFF

No abuse, Hal.

POINS

No abuse?

FALSTAFF

No abuse, Ned, i’ th’ world, honest Ned,
3251425none. I dispraised him before the wicked, (to
Prince) that the wicked might not fall in love with
thee; in which doing, I have done the part of a
careful friend and a true subject, and thy father is to
give me thanks for it. No abuse, Hal.—None, Ned,
3301430none. No, faith, boys, none.

PRINCE

See now whether pure fear and entire cowardice
doth not make thee wrong this virtuous gentlewoman
to close with us. Is she of the wicked, is
thine hostess here of the wicked, or is thy boy of the
3351435wicked, or honest Bardolph, whose zeal burns in
his nose, of the wicked?

POINS

Answer, thou dead elm, answer.

FALSTAFF

The fiend hath pricked down Bardolph irrecoverable,
and his face is Lucifer’s privy kitchen,
3401440where he doth nothing but roast malt-worms. For
the boy, there is a good angel about him, but the
devil blinds him too.

PRINCE

For the women?

FALSTAFF

For one of them, she’s in hell already and
3451445burns poor souls. For th’ other, I owe her money,
and whether she be damned for that I know not.

HOSTESS

No, I warrant you.

FALSTAFF

No, I think thou art not. I think thou art quit
for that. Marry, there is another indictment upon
3501450thee for suffering flesh to be eaten in thy house
contrary to the law, for the which I think thou wilt
howl.

HOSTESS

All vitlars do so. What’s a joint of mutton or
two in a whole Lent?

PRINCE, to Doll

3551455You, gentlewoman.

DOLL

What says your Grace?

FALSTAFF

His grace says that which his flesh rebels
against.

Peto knocks at door.

HOSTESS

Who knocks so loud at door? Look to th’ door
3601460there, Francis.

Francis exits.Enter Peto.

PRINCE

Peto, how now, what news?

PETO

The King your father is at Westminster,
And there are twenty weak and wearied posts
Come from the north, and as I came along
3651465I met and overtook a dozen captains,
Bareheaded, sweating, knocking at the taverns
And asking everyone for Sir John Falstaff.

PRINCE

By heaven, Poins, I feel me much to blame
So idly to profane the precious time
3701470When tempest of commotion, like the south
Borne with black vapor, doth begin to melt
And drop upon our bare unarmèd heads.—
Give me my sword and cloak.—Falstaff, good
night.

Prince, Peto, and Poins exit.

FALSTAFF

3751475Now comes in the sweetest morsel of the
night, and we must hence and leave it unpicked.
(Knocking. Bardolph exits.) More knocking at the
door? (Bardolph returns.) How now, what’s the
matter?

BARDOLPH

3801480You must away to court, sir, presently.
A dozen captains stay at door for you.

FALSTAFF, to Page

Pay the musicians, sirrah.—
Farewell, hostess.—Farewell, Doll. You see, my
good wenches, how men of merit are sought after.
3851485The undeserver may sleep when the man of action
is called on. Farewell, good wenches. If I be not sent
away post, I will see you again ere I go.

DOLL

I cannot speak. If my heart be not ready to
burst—well, sweet Jack, have a care of thyself.

FALSTAFF

3901490Farewell, farewell.

He exits with Bardolph, Page, and Musicians.

HOSTESS

Well, fare thee well. I have known thee these
twenty-nine years, come peasecod time, but an
honester and truer-hearted man—well, fare thee
well.

BARDOLPH, within

3951495Mistress Tearsheet!

HOSTESS

What’s the matter?

BARDOLPH, within

Bid Mistress Tearsheet come to my
master.

HOSTESS

O, run, Doll, run, run, good Doll. Come.—
4001500She comes blubbered.—Yea! Will you come, Doll?

They exit.

ACT 3

Scene 1

Enter the King in his nightgown with a Page.

KING

Go call the Earls of Surrey and of Warwick;
But, ere they come, bid them o’erread these letters
And well consider of them. Make good speed.
Page exits.
How many thousand of my poorest subjects
51505Are at this hour asleep! O sleep, O gentle sleep,
Nature’s soft nurse, how have I frighted thee,
That thou no more wilt weigh my eyelids down
And steep my senses in forgetfulness?
Why rather, sleep, liest thou in smoky cribs,
101510Upon uneasy pallets stretching thee,
And hushed with buzzing night-flies to thy slumber,
Than in the perfumed chambers of the great,
Under the canopies of costly state,
And lulled with sound of sweetest melody?
151515O thou dull god, why liest thou with the vile
In loathsome beds and leavest the kingly couch
A watch-case or a common ’larum bell?
Wilt thou upon the high and giddy mast
Seal up the shipboy’s eyes and rock his brains
201520In cradle of the rude imperious surge
And in the visitation of the winds,
Who take the ruffian billows by the top,
Curling their monstrous heads and hanging them
With deafing clamor in the slippery clouds
251525That with the hurly death itself awakes?
Canst thou, O partial sleep, give thy repose
To the wet sea-boy in an hour so rude,
And, in the calmest and most stillest night,
With all appliances and means to boot,
301530Deny it to a king? Then, happy low, lie down.
Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.

Enter Warwick, Surrey and Sir John Blunt.

WARWICK

Many good morrows to your Majesty.

KING

Is it good morrow, lords?

WARWICK

’Tis one o’clock, and past.

KING

351535Why then, good morrow to you all, my lords.
Have you read o’er the letter that I sent you?

WARWICK

We have, my liege.

KING

Then you perceive the body of our kingdom
How foul it is, what rank diseases grow,
401540And with what danger near the heart of it.

WARWICK

It is but as a body yet distempered,
Which to his former strength may be restored
With good advice and little medicine.
My Lord Northumberland will soon be cooled.

KING

451545O God, that one might read the book of fate
And see the revolution of the times
Make mountains level, and the continent,
Weary of solid firmness, melt itself
Into the sea, and other times to see
501550The beachy girdle of the ocean
Too wide for Neptune’s hips; how chance’s mocks
And changes fill the cup of alteration
With divers liquors! O, if this were seen,
The happiest youth, viewing his progress through,
551555What perils past, what crosses to ensue,
Would shut the book and sit him down and die.
’Tis not ten years gone
Since Richard and Northumberland, great friends,
Did feast together, and in two years after
601560Were they at wars. It is but eight years since
This Percy was the man nearest my soul,
Who like a brother toiled in my affairs
And laid his love and life under my foot,
Yea, for my sake, even to the eyes of Richard
651565Gave him defiance. But which of you was by—
To Warwick. You, cousin Nevil, as I may
remember—
When Richard, with his eye brimful of tears,
Then checked and rated by Northumberland,
701570Did speak these words, now proved a prophecy?
“Northumberland, thou ladder by the which
My cousin Bolingbroke ascends my throne”—
Though then, God knows, I had no such intent,
But that necessity so bowed the state
751575That I and greatness were compelled to kiss—
“The time shall come,” thus did he follow it,
“The time will come that foul sin, gathering head,
Shall break into corruption”—so went on,
Foretelling this same time’s condition
801580And the division of our amity.

WARWICK

There is a history in all men’s lives
Figuring the natures of the times deceased,
The which observed, a man may prophesy,
With a near aim, of the main chance of things
851585As yet not come to life, who in their seeds
And weak beginning lie intreasurèd.
Such things become the hatch and brood of time,
And by the necessary form of this,
King Richard might create a perfect guess
901590That great Northumberland, then false to him,
Would of that seed grow to a greater falseness,
Which should not find a ground to root upon
Unless on you.

KING

Are these things then necessities?
951595Then let us meet them like necessities.
And that same word even now cries out on us.
They say the Bishop and Northumberland
Are fifty thousand strong.

WARWICK

It cannot be, my lord.
1001600Rumor doth double, like the voice and echo,
The numbers of the feared. Please it your Grace
To go to bed. Upon my soul, my lord,
The powers that you already have sent forth
Shall bring this prize in very easily.
1051605To comfort you the more, I have received
A certain instance that Glendower is dead.
Your Majesty hath been this fortnight ill,
And these unseasoned hours perforce must add
Unto your sickness.

KING

1101610I will take your counsel.
And were these inward wars once out of hand,
We would, dear lords, unto the Holy Land.

They exit.

Scene 2

Enter Justice Shallow and Justice Silence.

SHALLOW

Come on, come on, come on. Give me your
hand, sir, give me your hand, sir. An early stirrer, by
1615the rood. And how doth my good cousin Silence?

SILENCE

Good morrow, good cousin Shallow.

SHALLOW

5And how doth my cousin your bedfellow?
And your fairest daughter and mine, my goddaughter
Ellen?

SILENCE

1620Alas, a black ousel, cousin Shallow.

SHALLOW

By yea and no, sir. I dare say my cousin
10William is become a good scholar. He is at Oxford
still, is he not?

SILENCE

Indeed, sir, to my cost.

SHALLOW

1625He must then to the Inns o’ Court shortly. I
was once of Clement’s Inn, where I think they will
15talk of mad Shallow yet.

SILENCE

You were called “Lusty Shallow” then,
cousin.

SHALLOW

1630By the Mass, I was called anything, and I
would have done anything indeed too, and roundly
20too. There was I, and little John Doit of Staffordshire,
and black George Barnes, and Francis Pickbone,
and Will Squele, a Cotswold man. You had
1635not four such swinge-bucklers in all the Inns o’
Court again. And I may say to you, we knew where
25the bona robas were and had the best of them all at
commandment. Then was Jack Falstaff, now Sir
John, a boy, and page to Thomas Mowbray, Duke of
1640Norfolk.

SILENCE

This Sir John, cousin, that comes hither anon
30about soldiers?

SHALLOW

The same Sir John, the very same. I see him
break Scoggin’s head at the court gate, when he
1645was a crack not thus high; and the very same day did
I fight with one Sampson Stockfish, a fruiterer,
35behind Grey’s Inn. Jesu, Jesu, the mad days that I
have spent! And to see how many of my old acquaintance
are dead.

SILENCE

1650We shall all follow, cousin.

SHALLOW

Certain, ’tis certain, very sure, very sure.
40Death, as the Psalmist saith, is certain to all. All
shall die. How a good yoke of bullocks at Stamford
Fair?

SILENCE

1655By my troth, cousin, I was not there.

SHALLOW

Death is certain. Is old Dooble of your town
45living yet?

SILENCE

Dead, sir.

SHALLOW

Jesu, Jesu, dead! He drew a good bow, and
1660dead? He shot a fine shoot. John o’ Gaunt loved him
well, and betted much money on his head. Dead! He
50would have clapped i’ th’ clout at twelve score, and
carried you a forehand shaft a fourteen and fourteen
and a half, that it would have done a man’s
1665heart good to see. How a score of ewes now?

SILENCE

Thereafter as they be, a score of good ewes
55may be worth ten pounds.

SHALLOW

And is old Dooble dead?

SILENCE

Here come two of Sir John Falstaff’s men, as I
1670think.

Enter Bardolph and one with him.

SHALLOW

Good morrow, honest gentlemen.

BARDOLPH

60I beseech you, which is Justice Shallow?

SHALLOW

I am Robert Shallow, sir, a poor esquire of
this county and one of the King’s justices of the
1675peace. What is your good pleasure with me?

BARDOLPH

My captain, sir, commends him to you, my
65captain, Sir John Falstaff, a tall gentleman, by
heaven, and a most gallant leader.

SHALLOW

He greets me well, sir. I knew him a good
1680backsword man. How doth the good knight? May I
ask how my lady his wife doth?

BARDOLPH

70Sir, pardon. A soldier is better accommodated
than with a wife.

SHALLOW

It is well said, in faith, sir, and it is well said
1685indeed too. “Better accommodated.” It is good,
yea, indeed is it. Good phrases are surely, and ever
75were, very commendable. “Accommodated.” It
comes of accommodo. Very good, a good phrase.

BARDOLPH

Pardon, sir, I have heard the word—
1690“phrase” call you it? By this day, I know not the
phrase, but I will maintain the word with my sword
80to be a soldierlike word, and a word of exceeding
good command, by heaven. “Accommodated,” that
is when a man is, as they say, accommodated, or
1695when a man is being whereby he may be thought to
be accommodated, which is an excellent thing.

Enter Falstaff.

SHALLOW

85It is very just. Look, here comes good Sir
John.—Give me your good hand, give me your
Worship’s good hand. By my troth, you like well and
1700bear your years very well. Welcome, good Sir John.

FALSTAFF

I am glad to see you well, good Master
90Robert Shallow.—Master Sure-card, as I think?

SHALLOW

No, Sir John. It is my cousin Silence, in
commission with me.

FALSTAFF

1705Good Master Silence, it well befits you
should be of the peace.

SILENCE

95Your good Worship is welcome.

FALSTAFF

Fie, this is hot weather, gentlemen. Have you
provided me here half a dozen sufficient men?

SHALLOW

1710Marry, have we, sir. Will you sit?

They sit at a table.

FALSTAFF

Let me see them, I beseech you.

SHALLOW

100Where’s the roll? Where’s the roll? Where’s
the roll? Let me see, let me see, let me see. So, so,
so, so, so. So, so. Yea, marry, sir.—Rafe Mouldy!—
1715Let them appear as I call, let them do so, let them
do so.

Enter Mouldy, followed by Shadow, Wart, Feeble,
and Bullcalf.

105Let me see, where is Mouldy?

MOULDY, coming forward

Here, an it please you.

SHALLOW

What think you, Sir John? A good-limbed
1720fellow, young, strong, and of good friends.

FALSTAFF

Is thy name Mouldy?

MOULDY

110Yea, an ’t please you.

FALSTAFF

’Tis the more time thou wert used.

SHALLOW

Ha, ha, ha, most excellent, i’ faith! Things
1725that are mouldy lack use. Very singular good, in
faith. Well said, Sir John, very well said.

FALSTAFF

115Prick him.

Shallow marks the scroll.

MOULDY

I was pricked well enough before, an you
could have let me alone. My old dame will be
1730undone now for one to do her husbandry and her
drudgery. You need not to have pricked me. There
120are other men fitter to go out than I.

FALSTAFF

Go to. Peace, Mouldy. You shall go. Mouldy,
it is time you were spent.

MOULDY

1735Spent?

SHALLOW

Peace, fellow, peace. Stand aside. Know you
125where you are?—For th’ other, Sir John. Let me
see.—Simon Shadow!

FALSTAFF

Yea, marry, let me have him to sit under.
1740He’s like to be a cold soldier.

SHALLOW

Where’s Shadow?

SHADOW, coming forward

130Here, sir.

FALSTAFF

Shadow, whose son art thou?

SHADOW

My mother’s son, sir.

FALSTAFF

1745Thy mother’s son! Like enough, and thy
father’s shadow. So the son of the female is the
135shadow of the male. It is often so, indeed, but much
of the father’s substance.

SHALLOW

Do you like him, Sir John?

FALSTAFF

1750Shadow will serve for summer. Prick him,
for we have a number of shadows to fill up the
140muster book.

SHALLOW

Thomas Wart!

FALSTAFF

Where’s he?

WART, coming forward

1755Here, sir.

FALSTAFF

Is thy name Wart?

WART

145Yea, sir.

FALSTAFF

Thou art a very ragged wart.

SHALLOW

Shall I prick him down, Sir John?

FALSTAFF

1760It were superfluous, for his apparel is built
upon his back, and the whole frame stands upon
150pins. Prick him no more.

SHALLOW

Ha, ha, ha. You can do it, sir, you can do it. I
commend you well.—Francis Feeble!

FEEBLE, coming forward

1765Here, sir.

SHALLOW

What trade art thou, Feeble?

FEEBLE

155A woman’s tailor, sir.

SHALLOW

Shall I prick him, sir?

FALSTAFF

You may, but if he had been a man’s tailor,
1770he’d ha’ pricked you.—Wilt thou make as many
holes in an enemy’s battle as thou hast done in a
160woman’s petticoat?

FEEBLE

I will do my good will, sir. You can have no
more.

FALSTAFF

1775Well said, good woman’s tailor, well said,
courageous Feeble. Thou wilt be as valiant as the
165wrathful dove or most magnanimous mouse.—
Prick the woman’s tailor well, Master Shallow,
deep, Master Shallow.

FEEBLE

1780I would Wart might have gone, sir.

FALSTAFF

I would thou wert a man’s tailor, that thou
170mightst mend him and make him fit to go. I cannot
put him to a private soldier that is the leader of so
many thousands. Let that suffice, most forcible
1785Feeble.

FEEBLE

It shall suffice, sir.

FALSTAFF

175I am bound to thee, reverend Feeble.—Who
is the next?

SHALLOW

Peter Bullcalf o’ th’ green.

FALSTAFF

1790Yea, marry, let’s see Bullcalf.

BULLCALF, coming forward

Here, sir.

FALSTAFF

180Fore God, a likely fellow. Come, prick me
Bullcalf till he roar again.

BULLCALF

O Lord, good my lord captain—

FALSTAFF

1795What, dost thou roar before thou art
pricked?

BULLCALF

185O Lord, sir, I am a diseased man.

FALSTAFF

What disease hast thou?

BULLCALF

A whoreson cold, sir, a cough, sir, which I
1800caught with ringing in the King’s affairs upon his
coronation day, sir.

FALSTAFF

190Come, thou shalt go to the wars in a gown.
We will have away thy cold, and I will take such
order that thy friends shall ring for thee.—Is here
1805all?

SHALLOW

Here is two more called than your number.
195You must have but four here, sir, and so I pray you
go in with me to dinner.

FALSTAFF

Come, I will go drink with you, but I cannot
1810tarry dinner. I am glad to see you, by my troth,
Master Shallow.

SHALLOW

200O, Sir John, do you remember since we lay
all night in the windmill in Saint George’s Field?

FALSTAFF

No more of that, good Master Shallow, no
1815more of that.

SHALLOW

Ha, ’twas a merry night. And is Jane Nightwork
205alive?

FALSTAFF

She lives, Master Shallow.

SHALLOW

She never could away with me.

FALSTAFF

1820Never, never. She would always say she could
not abide Master Shallow.

SHALLOW

210By the Mass, I could anger her to th’ heart.
She was then a bona roba. Doth she hold her own
well?

FALSTAFF

1825Old, old, Master Shallow.

SHALLOW

Nay, she must be old. She cannot choose but
215be old. Certain, she’s old, and had Robin Nightwork
by old Nightwork before I came to Clement’s Inn.

SILENCE

That’s fifty-five year ago.

SHALLOW

1830Ha, cousin Silence, that thou hadst seen that
that this knight and I have seen!—Ha, Sir John, said
220I well?

FALSTAFF

We have heard the chimes at midnight, Master
Shallow.

SHALLOW

1835That we have, that we have, that we have. In
faith, Sir John, we have. Our watchword was “Hem,
225boys.” Come, let’s to dinner, come, let’s to dinner.
Jesus, the days that we have seen! Come, come.

Shallow, Silence, and Falstaff rise and exit.

BULLCALF

Good Master Corporate Bardolph, stand my
1840friend, and here’s four Harry ten-shillings in
French crowns for you. He gives Bardolph money.
230In very truth, sir, I had as lief be hanged, sir, as go.
And yet, for mine own part, sir, I do not care, but
rather because I am unwilling, and, for mine own
1845part, have a desire to stay with my friends. Else, sir,
I did not care, for mine own part, so much.

BARDOLPH

235Go to. Stand aside.

MOULDY

And, good Master Corporal Captain, for my
old dame’s sake, stand my friend. She has nobody to
1850do anything about her when I am gone, and she is
old and cannot help herself. You shall have forty,
240sir.

He gives money.

BARDOLPH

Go to. Stand aside.

FEEBLE

By my troth, I care not. A man can die but
1855once. We owe God a death. I’ll ne’er bear a base
mind. An ’t be my destiny, so; an ’t be not, so. No
245man’s too good to serve ’s prince, and let it go
which way it will, he that dies this year is quit for
the next.

BARDOLPH

1860Well said. Th’ art a good fellow.

FEEBLE

Faith, I’ll bear no base mind.

Enter Falstaff and the Justices.

FALSTAFF

250Come, sir, which men shall I have?

SHALLOW

Four of which you please.

BARDOLPH, aside to Falstaff

Sir, a word with you. I
1865have three pound to free Mouldy and Bullcalf.

FALSTAFF

Go to, well.

SHALLOW

255Come, Sir John, which four will you have?

FALSTAFF

Do you choose for me.

SHALLOW

Marry, then, Mouldy, Bullcalf, Feeble, and
1870Shadow.

FALSTAFF

Mouldy and Bullcalf! For you, Mouldy, stay
260at home till you are past service.—And for your
part, Bullcalf, grow till you come unto it. I will
none of you.

Mouldy and Bullcalf exit.

SHALLOW

1875Sir John, Sir John, do not yourself wrong.
They are your likeliest men, and I would have you
265served with the best.

FALSTAFF

Will you tell me, Master Shallow, how to
choose a man? Care I for the limb, the thews, the
1880stature, bulk and big assemblance of a man? Give
me the spirit, Master Shallow. Here’s Wart. You see
270what a ragged appearance it is. He shall charge you
and discharge you with the motion of a pewterer’s
hammer, come off and on swifter than he that
1885gibbets on the brewer’s bucket. And this same half-faced
fellow, Shadow, give me this man. He presents
275no mark to the enemy. The foeman may with
as great aim level at the edge of a penknife. And for
a retreat, how swiftly will this Feeble, the woman’s
1890tailor, run off! O, give me the spare men, and spare
me the great ones.—Put me a caliver into Wart’s
280hand, Bardolph.

BARDOLPH, giving Wart a musket

Hold, Wart. Traverse.
Thas, thas, thas.

FALSTAFF, to Wart

1895Come, manage me your caliver: so,
very well, go to, very good, exceeding good. O, give
285me always a little, lean, old, chopped, bald shot.
Well said, i’ faith, Wart. Th’ art a good scab. Hold,
there’s a tester for thee.

He gives Wart money.

SHALLOW

1900He is not his craft’s master. He doth not do it
right. I remember at Mile End Green, when I lay at
290Clement’s Inn—I was then Sir Dagonet in Arthur’s
show—there was a little quiver fellow, and he
would manage you his piece thus. Shallow performs
with the musket. 1905And he would about and
about, and come you in, and come you in. “Rah,
295tah, tah,” would he say. “Bounce,” would he say,
and away again would he go, and again would he
come. I shall ne’er see such a fellow.

FALSTAFF

1910These fellows will do well, Master Shallow.
—God keep you, Master Silence. I will not use
300many words with you. Fare you well, gentlemen
both. I thank you. I must a dozen mile tonight.—
Bardolph, give the soldiers coats.

SHALLOW

1915Sir John, the Lord bless you. God prosper
your affairs. God send us peace. At your return, visit
305our house. Let our old acquaintance be renewed.
Peradventure I will with you to the court.

FALSTAFF

Fore God, would you would, Master
1920Shallow.

SHALLOW

Go to. I have spoke at a word. God keep you.

FALSTAFF

310Fare you well, gentle gentlemen.
Shallow and Silence exit.
On, Bardolph. Lead the men away.
All but Falstaff exit.
As I return, I will fetch off these justices. I do see
1925the bottom of Justice Shallow. Lord, Lord, how
subject we old men are to this vice of lying. This
315same starved justice hath done nothing but prate to
me of the wildness of his youth and the feats he hath
done about Turnbull Street, and every third word a
1930lie, duer paid to the hearer than the Turk’s tribute. I
do remember him at Clement’s Inn, like a man
320made after supper of a cheese paring. When he was
naked, he was, for all the world, like a forked radish
with a head fantastically carved upon it with a
1935knife. He was so forlorn that his dimensions to
any thick sight were invincible. He was the very
325genius of famine, yet lecherous as a monkey,
and the whores called him “mandrake.” He came
ever in the rearward of the fashion, and sung
1940those tunes to the overscutched huswives that he
heard the carmen whistle, and swore they were his
330fancies or his good-nights. And now is this Vice’s
dagger become a squire, and talks as familiarly
of John o’ Gaunt as if he had been sworn brother
1945to him, and I’ll be sworn he ne’er saw him but
once in the tilt-yard, and then he burst his head
335for crowding among the Marshal’s men. I saw it
and told John o’ Gaunt he beat his own name, for
you might have thrust him and all his apparel into
1950an eel-skin; the case of a treble hautboy was a
mansion for him, a court. And now has he land and
340beefs. Well, I’ll be acquainted with him if I return,
and ’t shall go hard but I’ll make him a philosopher’s
two stones to me. If the young dace be a
1955bait for the old pike, I see no reason in the law of
nature but I may snap at him. Let time shape, and
345there an end.

He exits.

ACT 4

Scene 1

Enter the Archbishop of York, Mowbray, Lord
Bardolph, Hastings, and their officers within the Forest
of Gaultree.

ARCHBISHOP

What is this forest called?

HASTINGS

’Tis Gaultree Forest, an ’t shall please your Grace.

ARCHBISHOP

1960Here stand, my lords, and send discoverers forth
To know the numbers of our enemies.

HASTINGS

5We have sent forth already.

ARCHBISHOP

’Tis well done.
My friends and brethren in these great affairs,
1965I must acquaint you that I have received
New-dated letters from Northumberland,
10Their cold intent, tenor, and substance, thus:
Here doth he wish his person, with such powers
As might hold sortance with his quality,
1970The which he could not levy; whereupon
He is retired, to ripe his growing fortunes,
15To Scotland, and concludes in hearty prayers
That your attempts may overlive the hazard
And fearful meeting of their opposite.

MOWBRAY

1975Thus do the hopes we have in him touch ground
And dash themselves to pieces.

Enter Messenger.

HASTINGS

20Now, what news?

MESSENGER

West of this forest, scarcely off a mile,
In goodly form comes on the enemy,
1980And, by the ground they hide, I judge their number
Upon or near the rate of thirty thousand.

MOWBRAY

25The just proportion that we gave them out.
Let us sway on and face them in the field.

Enter Westmoreland.

ARCHBISHOP

What well-appointed leader fronts us here?

MOWBRAY

1985I think it is my Lord of Westmoreland.

WESTMORELAND

Health and fair greeting from our general,
30The Prince Lord John and Duke of Lancaster.

ARCHBISHOP

Say on, my Lord of Westmoreland, in peace,
What doth concern your coming.

WESTMORELAND

1990Then, my lord,
Unto your Grace do I in chief address
35The substance of my speech. If that rebellion
Came like itself, in base and abject routs,
Led on by bloody youth, guarded with rage,
1995And countenanced by boys and beggary—
I say, if damned commotion so appeared
40In his true, native, and most proper shape,
You, reverend father, and these noble lords
Had not been here to dress the ugly form
2000Of base and bloody insurrection
With your fair honors. You, Lord Archbishop,
45Whose see is by a civil peace maintained,
Whose beard the silver hand of peace hath touched,
Whose learning and good letters peace hath tutored,
2005Whose white investments figure innocence,
The dove and very blessèd spirit of peace,
50Wherefore do you so ill translate yourself
Out of the speech of peace, that bears such grace,
Into the harsh and boist’rous tongue of war,
2010Turning your books to graves, your ink to blood,
Your pens to lances, and your tongue divine
55To a loud trumpet and a point of war?

ARCHBISHOP

Wherefore do I this? So the question stands.
Briefly, to this end: we are all diseased
2015And with our surfeiting and wanton hours
Have brought ourselves into a burning fever,
60And we must bleed for it; of which disease
Our late King Richard, being infected, died.
But, my most noble Lord of Westmoreland,
2020I take not on me here as a physician,
Nor do I as an enemy to peace
65Troop in the throngs of military men,
But rather show awhile like fearful war
To diet rank minds sick of happiness
2025And purge th’ obstructions which begin to stop
Our very veins of life. Hear me more plainly.
70I have in equal balance justly weighed
What wrongs our arms may do, what wrongs we
suffer,
2030And find our griefs heavier than our offenses.
We see which way the stream of time doth run
75And are enforced from our most quiet there
By the rough torrent of occasion,
And have the summary of all our griefs,
2035When time shall serve, to show in articles;
Which long ere this we offered to the King
80And might by no suit gain our audience.
When we are wronged and would unfold our griefs,
We are denied access unto his person
2040Even by those men that most have done us wrong.
The dangers of the days but newly gone,
85Whose memory is written on the earth
With yet-appearing blood, and the examples
Of every minute’s instance, present now,
2045Hath put us in these ill-beseeming arms,
Not to break peace or any branch of it,
90But to establish here a peace indeed,
Concurring both in name and quality.

WESTMORELAND

Whenever yet was your appeal denied?
2050Wherein have you been gallèd by the King?
What peer hath been suborned to grate on you,
95That you should seal this lawless bloody book
Of forged rebellion with a seal divine
And consecrate commotion’s bitter edge?

ARCHBISHOP

2055My brother general, the commonwealth,
To brother born an household cruelty,
100I make my quarrel in particular.

WESTMORELAND

There is no need of any such redress,
Or if there were, it not belongs to you.

MOWBRAY

2060Why not to him in part, and to us all
That feel the bruises of the days before
105And suffer the condition of these times
To lay a heavy and unequal hand
Upon our honors?

WESTMORELAND

2065O, my good Lord Mowbray,
Construe the times to their necessities,
110And you shall say indeed it is the time,
And not the King, that doth you injuries.
Yet for your part, it not appears to me
2070Either from the King or in the present time
That you should have an inch of any ground
115To build a grief on. Were you not restored
To all the Duke of Norfolk’s seigniories,
Your noble and right well remembered father’s?

MOWBRAY

2075What thing, in honor, had my father lost
That need to be revived and breathed in me?
120The King that loved him, as the state stood then,
Was force perforce compelled to banish him,
And then that Henry Bolingbroke and he,
2080Being mounted and both rousèd in their seats,
Their neighing coursers daring of the spur,
125Their armèd staves in charge, their beavers down,
Their eyes of fire sparkling through sights of steel,
And the loud trumpet blowing them together,
2085Then, then, when there was nothing could have
stayed
130My father from the breast of Bolingbroke,
O, when the King did throw his warder down—
His own life hung upon the staff he threw—
2090Then threw he down himself and all their lives
That by indictment and by dint of sword
135Have since miscarried under Bolingbroke.

WESTMORELAND

You speak, Lord Mowbray, now you know not what.
The Earl of Hereford was reputed then
2095In England the most valiant gentleman.
Who knows on whom fortune would then have
140smiled?
But if your father had been victor there,
He ne’er had borne it out of Coventry;
2100For all the country in a general voice
Cried hate upon him; and all their prayers and
145love
Were set on Hereford, whom they doted on
And blessed and graced, indeed more than the
2105King.
But this is mere digression from my purpose.
150Here come I from our princely general
To know your griefs, to tell you from his Grace
That he will give you audience; and wherein
2110It shall appear that your demands are just,
You shall enjoy them, everything set off
155That might so much as think you enemies.

MOWBRAY

But he hath forced us to compel this offer,
And it proceeds from policy, not love.

WESTMORELAND

2115Mowbray, you overween to take it so.
This offer comes from mercy, not from fear.
160For, lo, within a ken our army lies,
Upon mine honor, all too confident
To give admittance to a thought of fear.
2120Our battle is more full of names than yours,
Our men more perfect in the use of arms,
165Our armor all as strong, our cause the best.
Then reason will our hearts should be as good.
Say you not then our offer is compelled.

MOWBRAY

2125Well, by my will, we shall admit no parley.

WESTMORELAND

That argues but the shame of your offense.
170A rotten case abides no handling.

HASTINGS

Hath the Prince John a full commission,
In very ample virtue of his father,
2130To hear and absolutely to determine
Of what conditions we shall stand upon?

WESTMORELAND

175That is intended in the General’s name.
I muse you make so slight a question.

ARCHBISHOP, giving Westmoreland a paper

Then take, my Lord of Westmoreland, this schedule,
2135For this contains our general grievances.
Each several article herein redressed,
180All members of our cause, both here and hence
That are insinewed to this action,
Acquitted by a true substantial form
2140And present execution of our wills
To us and to our purposes confined,
185We come within our awful banks again
And knit our powers to the arm of peace.

WESTMORELAND

This will I show the General. Please you, lords,
2145In sight of both our battles we may meet,
And either end in peace, which God so frame,
190Or to the place of difference call the swords
Which must decide it.

ARCHBISHOP

My lord, we will do so.

Westmoreland exits.

MOWBRAY

2150There is a thing within my bosom tells me
That no conditions of our peace can stand.

HASTINGS

195Fear you not that. If we can make our peace
Upon such large terms and so absolute
As our conditions shall consist upon,
2155Our peace shall stand as firm as rocky mountains.

MOWBRAY

Yea, but our valuation shall be such
200That every slight and false-derivèd cause,
Yea, every idle, nice, and wanton reason,
Shall to the King taste of this action,
2160That, were our royal faiths martyrs in love,
We shall be winnowed with so rough a wind
205That even our corn shall seem as light as chaff,
And good from bad find no partition.

ARCHBISHOP

No, no, my lord. Note this: the King is weary
2165Of dainty and such picking grievances,
For he hath found to end one doubt by death
210Revives two greater in the heirs of life;
And therefore will he wipe his tables clean
And keep no telltale to his memory
2170That may repeat and history his loss
To new remembrance. For full well he knows
215He cannot so precisely weed this land
As his misdoubts present occasion;
His foes are so enrooted with his friends
2175That, plucking to unfix an enemy,
He doth unfasten so and shake a friend;
220So that this land, like an offensive wife
That hath enraged him on to offer strokes,
As he is striking holds his infant up
2180And hangs resolved correction in the arm
That was upreared to execution.

HASTINGS

225Besides, the King hath wasted all his rods
On late offenders, that he now doth lack
The very instruments of chastisement,
2185So that his power, like to a fangless lion,
May offer but not hold.

ARCHBISHOP

230’Tis very true,
And therefore be assured, my good Lord Marshal,
If we do now make our atonement well,
2190Our peace will, like a broken limb united,
Grow stronger for the breaking.

MOWBRAY

235Be it so.
Here is returned my Lord of Westmoreland.

Enter Westmoreland.

WESTMORELAND, to the Archbishop

The Prince is here at hand. Pleaseth your Lordship
2195To meet his Grace just distance ’tween our armies.

Enter Prince John and his army.

MOWBRAY, to the Archbishop

Your Grace of York, in God’s name then set
240forward.

ARCHBISHOP

Before, and greet his Grace.—My lord, we come.

All move forward.

JOHN OF LANCASTER

You are well encountered here, my cousin
2200Mowbray.—
Good day to you, gentle Lord Archbishop,—
245And so to you, Lord Hastings, and to all.—
My Lord of York, it better showed with you
When that your flock, assembled by the bell,
2205Encircled you to hear with reverence
Your exposition on the holy text
250Than now to see you here, an iron man talking,
Cheering a rout of rebels with your drum,
Turning the word to sword, and life to death.
2210That man that sits within a monarch’s heart
And ripens in the sunshine of his favor,
255Would he abuse the countenance of the King,
Alack, what mischiefs might he set abroach
In shadow of such greatness! With you, Lord
2215Bishop,
It is even so. Who hath not heard it spoken
260How deep you were within the books of God,
To us the speaker in His parliament,
To us th’ imagined voice of God Himself,
2220The very opener and intelligencer
Between the grace, the sanctities, of heaven,
265And our dull workings? O, who shall believe
But you misuse the reverence of your place,
Employ the countenance and grace of heaven
2225As a false favorite doth his prince’s name,
In deeds dishonorable? You have ta’en up,
270Under the counterfeited zeal of God,
The subjects of His substitute, my father,
And both against the peace of heaven and him
2230Have here up-swarmed them.

ARCHBISHOP

Good my Lord of
275Lancaster,
I am not here against your father’s peace,
But, as I told my Lord of Westmoreland,
2235The time misordered doth, in common sense,
Crowd us and crush us to this monstrous form
280To hold our safety up. I sent your Grace
The parcels and particulars of our grief,
The which hath been with scorn shoved from the
2240court,
Whereon this Hydra son of war is born,
285Whose dangerous eyes may well be charmed asleep
With grant of our most just and right desires,
And true obedience, of this madness cured,
2245Stoop tamely to the foot of majesty.

MOWBRAY

If not, we ready are to try our fortunes
290To the last man.

HASTINGS

And though we here fall down,
We have supplies to second our attempt;
2250If they miscarry, theirs shall second them,
And so success of mischief shall be born,
295And heir from heir shall hold his quarrel up
Whiles England shall have generation.

JOHN OF LANCASTER

You are too shallow, Hastings, much too shallow
2255To sound the bottom of the after-times.

WESTMORELAND

Pleaseth your Grace to answer them directly
300How far forth you do like their articles.

JOHN OF LANCASTER

I like them all, and do allow them well,
And swear here by the honor of my blood
2260My father’s purposes have been mistook,
And some about him have too lavishly
305Wrested his meaning and authority.
To the Archbishop. My lord, these griefs shall be
with speed redressed;
2265Upon my soul, they shall. If this may please you,
Discharge your powers unto their several counties,
310As we will ours, and here, between the armies,
Let’s drink together friendly and embrace,
That all their eyes may bear those tokens home
2270Of our restorèd love and amity.

ARCHBISHOP

I take your princely word for these redresses.

JOHN OF LANCASTER

315I give it you, and will maintain my word,
And thereupon I drink unto your Grace.

The Leaders of both armies begin to drink together.

HASTINGS, to an Officer

Go, captain, and deliver to the army
2275This news of peace. Let them have pay, and part.
I know it will well please them. Hie thee, captain.

Officer exits.

ARCHBISHOP, toasting Westmoreland

320To you, my noble Lord of Westmoreland.

WESTMORELAND, returning the toast

I pledge your Grace, and if you knew what pains
I have bestowed to breed this present peace,
2280You would drink freely. But my love to you
Shall show itself more openly hereafter.

ARCHBISHOP

325I do not doubt you.

WESTMORELAND

I am glad of it.—
Health to my lord and gentle cousin, Mowbray.

MOWBRAY

2285You wish me health in very happy season,
For I am on the sudden something ill.

ARCHBISHOP

330Against ill chances men are ever merry,
But heaviness foreruns the good event.

WESTMORELAND

Therefore be merry, coz, since sudden sorrow
2290Serves to say thus: “Some good thing comes
tomorrow.”

ARCHBISHOP

335Believe me, I am passing light in spirit.

MOWBRAY

So much the worse if your own rule be true.

Shout within.

JOHN OF LANCASTER

The word of peace is rendered. Hark how they
2295shout.

MOWBRAY

This had been cheerful after victory.

ARCHBISHOP

340A peace is of the nature of a conquest,
For then both parties nobly are subdued,
And neither party loser.

JOHN OF LANCASTER, to Westmoreland

2300Go, my lord,
And let our army be dischargèd too.
Westmoreland exits.
345To the Archbishop. And, good my lord, so please
you, let our trains
March by us, that we may peruse the men
2305We should have coped withal.

ARCHBISHOP

Go, good Lord
350Hastings,
And ere they be dismissed, let them march by.

Hastings exits.

JOHN OF LANCASTER

I trust, lords, we shall lie tonight together.

Enter Westmoreland.

2310Now, cousin, wherefore stands our army still?

WESTMORELAND

The leaders, having charge from you to stand,
355Will not go off until they hear you speak.

JOHN OF LANCASTER

They know their duties.

Enter Hastings.

HASTINGS, to the Archbishop

My lord, our army is dispersed already.
2315Like youthful steers unyoked, they take their
courses
360East, west, north, south, or, like a school broke up,
Each hurries toward his home and sporting-place.

WESTMORELAND

Good tidings, my Lord Hastings, for the which
2320I do arrest thee, traitor, of high treason.—
And you, Lord Archbishop, and you, Lord Mowbray,
365Of capital treason I attach you both.

MOWBRAY

Is this proceeding just and honorable?

WESTMORELAND

Is your assembly so?

ARCHBISHOP

2325Will you thus break your faith?

JOHN OF LANCASTER

I pawned thee none.
370I promised you redress of these same grievances
Whereof you did complain, which, by mine honor,
I will perform with a most Christian care.
2330But for you rebels, look to taste the due
Meet for rebellion and such acts as yours.
375Most shallowly did you these arms commence,
Fondly brought here, and foolishly sent hence.—
Strike up our drums; pursue the scattered stray.
2335God, and not we, hath safely fought today.—
Some guard these traitors to the block of death,
380Treason’s true bed and yielder-up of breath.

They exit.

Scene 2

Alarum. Excursions. Enter Falstaff and Colevile.

FALSTAFF

What’s your name, sir? Of what condition are
you, and of what place, I pray?

COLEVILE

2340I am a knight, sir, and my name is Colevile of
the Dale.

FALSTAFF

5Well then, Colevile is your name, a knight is
your degree, and your place the Dale. Colevile shall
be still your name, a traitor your degree, and the
2345dungeon your place, a place deep enough so shall
you be still Colevile of the Dale.

COLEVILE

10Are not you Sir John Falstaff?

FALSTAFF

As good a man as he, sir, whoe’er I am. Do
you yield, sir, or shall I sweat for you? If I do sweat,
2350they are the drops of thy lovers and they weep for
thy death. Therefore rouse up fear and trembling,
15and do observance to my mercy.

COLEVILE

I think you are Sir John Falstaff, and in that
thought yield me.

FALSTAFF

2355I have a whole school of tongues in this belly
of mine, and not a tongue of them all speaks any
20other word but my name. An I had but a belly of any
indifferency, I were simply the most active fellow in
Europe. My womb, my womb, my womb undoes
2360me. Here comes our general.

Enter John, Westmoreland, and the rest.

JOHN OF LANCASTER

The heat is past. Follow no further now.
25Call in the powers, good cousin Westmoreland.
Westmoreland exits. Retreat is sounded.
Now, Falstaff, where have you been all this while?
When everything is ended, then you come.
2365These tardy tricks of yours will, on my life,
One time or other break some gallows’ back.

FALSTAFF

30I would be sorry, my lord, but it should be
thus. I never knew yet but rebuke and check was the
reward of valor. Do you think me a swallow, an
2370arrow, or a bullet? Have I in my poor and old
motion the expedition of thought? I have speeded
35hither with the very extremest inch of possibility. I
have foundered ninescore and odd posts, and here,
travel-tainted as I am, have in my pure and immaculate
2375valor taken Sir John Colevile of the Dale, a most
furious knight and valorous enemy. But what of
40that? He saw me and yielded, that I may justly say,
with the hook-nosed fellow of Rome, “There, cousin,
I came, saw, and overcame.”

JOHN OF LANCASTER

2380It was more of his courtesy than
your deserving.

FALSTAFF

45I know not. Here he is, and here I yield him.
And I beseech your Grace let it be booked with the
rest of this day’s deeds, or, by the Lord, I will have it
2385in a particular ballad else, with mine own picture
on the top on ’t, Colevile kissing my foot; to the
50which course if I be enforced, if you do not all show
like gilt twopences to me, and I in the clear sky of
fame o’ershine you as much as the full moon doth
2390the cinders of the element (which show like pins’
heads to her), believe not the word of the noble.
55Therefore let me have right, and let desert mount.

JOHN OF LANCASTER

Thine’s too heavy to mount.

FALSTAFF

Let it shine, then.

JOHN OF LANCASTER

2395Thine’s too thick to shine.

FALSTAFF

Let it do something, my good lord, that may
60do me good, and call it what you will.

JOHN OF LANCASTER

Is thy name Colevile?

COLEVILE

It is, my lord.

JOHN OF LANCASTER

2400A famous rebel art thou,
Colevile.

FALSTAFF

65And a famous true subject took him.

COLEVILE

I am, my lord, but as my betters are
That led me hither. Had they been ruled by me,
2405You should have won them dearer than you have.

FALSTAFF

I know not how they sold themselves, but
70thou, like a kind fellow, gavest thyself away gratis,
and I thank thee for thee.

Enter Westmoreland.

JOHN OF LANCASTER

Now, have you left pursuit?

WESTMORELAND

2410Retreat is made and execution stayed.

JOHN OF LANCASTER

Send Colevile with his confederates
75To York, to present execution.—
Blunt, lead him hence, and see you guard him sure.
Blunt exits with Colevile.
And now dispatch we toward the court, my lords.
2415I hear the King my father is sore sick.
Our news shall go before us to his Majesty,
80To Westmoreland. Which, cousin, you shall bear
to comfort him,
And we with sober speed will follow you.

FALSTAFF

2420My lord, I beseech you give me leave to go
through Gloucestershire, and, when you come to
85court, stand my good lord, pray, in your good
report.

JOHN OF LANCASTER

Fare you well, Falstaff. I, in my condition,
2425Shall better speak of you than you deserve.

All but Falstaff exit.

FALSTAFF

I would you had but the wit; ’twere better
90than your dukedom. Good faith, this same young
sober-blooded boy doth not love me, nor a man
cannot make him laugh. But that’s no marvel; he
2430drinks no wine. There’s never none of these demure
boys come to any proof, for thin drink doth so
95overcool their blood, and making many fish meals,
that they fall into a kind of male green-sickness, and
then, when they marry, they get wenches. They are
2435generally fools and cowards, which some of us
should be too, but for inflammation. A good sherris
100sack hath a two-fold operation in it. It ascends me
into the brain, dries me there all the foolish and
dull and crudy vapors which environ it, makes it
2440apprehensive, quick, forgetive, full of nimble, fiery,
and delectable shapes, which, delivered o’er to the
105voice, the tongue, which is the birth, becomes
excellent wit. The second property of your excellent
sherris is the warming of the blood, which,
2445before cold and settled, left the liver white and pale,
which is the badge of pusillanimity and cowardice.
110But the sherris warms it and makes it course from
the inwards to the parts’ extremes. It illumineth the
face, which as a beacon gives warning to all the rest
2450of this little kingdom, man, to arm; and then the
vital commoners and inland petty spirits muster me
115all to their captain, the heart, who, great and puffed
up with this retinue, doth any deed of courage, and
this valor comes of sherris. So that skill in the
2455weapon is nothing without sack, for that sets it
a-work; and learning a mere hoard of gold kept
120by a devil till sack commences it and sets it in
act and use. Hereof comes it that Prince Harry is
valiant, for the cold blood he did naturally inherit
2460of his father he hath, like lean, sterile, and bare
land, manured, husbanded, and tilled with excellent
125endeavor of drinking good and good store
of fertile sherris, that he is become very hot and valiant.
If I had a thousand sons, the first human principle
2465I would teach them should be to forswear
thin potations and to addict themselves to sack.

Enter Bardolph.

130How now, Bardolph?

BARDOLPH

The army is discharged all and gone.

FALSTAFF

Let them go. I’ll through Gloucestershire,
2470and there will I visit Master Robert Shallow,
Esquire. I have him already temp’ring between my
135finger and my thumb, and shortly will I seal with
him. Come away.

They exit.

Scene 3

Enter the King in a chair, Warwick, Thomas Duke of
Clarence, Humphrey Duke of Gloucester, and
Attendants.

KING

Now, lords, if God doth give successful end
2475To this debate that bleedeth at our doors,
We will our youth lead on to higher fields
And draw no swords but what are sanctified.
5Our navy is addressed, our power collected,
Our substitutes in absence well invested,
2480And everything lies level to our wish.
Only we want a little personal strength;
And pause us till these rebels now afoot
10Come underneath the yoke of government.

WARWICK

Both which we doubt not but your Majesty
2485Shall soon enjoy.

KING

Humphrey, my son of Gloucester, where is the
Prince your brother?

HUMPHREY OF GLOUCESTER

15I think he’s gone to hunt, my lord, at Windsor.

KING

And how accompanied?

HUMPHREY OF GLOUCESTER

2490I do not know, my lord.

KING

Is not his brother Thomas of Clarence with him?

HUMPHREY OF GLOUCESTER

No, my good lord, he is in presence here.

THOMAS OF CLARENCE, coming forward

20What would
my lord and father?

KING

2495Nothing but well to thee, Thomas of Clarence.
How chance thou art not with the Prince thy
brother?
25He loves thee, and thou dost neglect him, Thomas.
Thou hast a better place in his affection
2500Than all thy brothers. Cherish it, my boy,
And noble offices thou mayst effect
Of mediation, after I am dead,
30Between his greatness and thy other brethren.
Therefore omit him not, blunt not his love,
2505Nor lose the good advantage of his grace
By seeming cold or careless of his will.
For he is gracious if he be observed;
35He hath a tear for pity, and a hand
Open as day for melting charity;
2510Yet notwithstanding, being incensed he is flint,
As humorous as winter, and as sudden
As flaws congealèd in the spring of day.
40His temper therefore must be well observed.
Chide him for faults, and do it reverently,
2515When you perceive his blood inclined to mirth;
But, being moody, give him time and scope
Till that his passions, like a whale on ground,
45Confound themselves with working. Learn this,
Thomas,
2520And thou shalt prove a shelter to thy friends,
A hoop of gold to bind thy brothers in,
That the united vessel of their blood,
50Mingled with venom of suggestion
(As, force perforce, the age will pour it in),
2525Shall never leak, though it do work as strong
As aconitum or rash gunpowder.

THOMAS OF CLARENCE

I shall observe him with all care and love.

KING

55Why art thou not at Windsor with him, Thomas?

THOMAS OF CLARENCE

He is not there today; he dines in London.

KING

2530And how accompanied? Canst thou tell that?

THOMAS OF CLARENCE

With Poins and other his continual followers.

KING

Most subject is the fattest soil to weeds,
60And he, the noble image of my youth,
Is overspread with them; therefore my grief
2535Stretches itself beyond the hour of death.
The blood weeps from my heart when I do shape,
In forms imaginary, th’ unguided days
65And rotten times that you shall look upon
When I am sleeping with my ancestors.
2540For when his headstrong riot hath no curb,
When rage and hot blood are his counsellors,
When means and lavish manners meet together,
70O, with what wings shall his affections fly
Towards fronting peril and opposed decay!

WARWICK

2545My gracious lord, you look beyond him quite.
The Prince but studies his companions
Like a strange tongue, wherein, to gain the
75language,
’Tis needful that the most immodest word
2550Be looked upon and learned; which, once attained,
Your Highness knows, comes to no further use
But to be known and hated. So, like gross terms,
80The Prince will, in the perfectness of time,
Cast off his followers, and their memory
2555Shall as a pattern or a measure live,
By which his Grace must mete the lives of others,
Turning past evils to advantages.

KING

85’Tis seldom when the bee doth leave her comb
In the dead carrion.

Enter Westmoreland.

2560Who’s here? Westmoreland?

WESTMORELAND

Health to my sovereign, and new happiness
Added to that that I am to deliver.
90Prince John your son doth kiss your Grace’s hand.
Mowbray, the Bishop Scroop, Hastings, and all
2565Are brought to the correction of your law.
There is not now a rebel’s sword unsheathed,
But peace puts forth her olive everywhere.
95The manner how this action hath been borne
Here at more leisure may your Highness read
2570With every course in his particular.

He gives the King a paper.

KING

O Westmoreland, thou art a summer bird,
Which ever in the haunch of winter sings
100The lifting up of day.

Enter Harcourt.

Look, here’s more news.

HARCOURT

2575From enemies heavens keep your Majesty,
And when they stand against you, may they fall
As those that I am come to tell you of.
105The Earl Northumberland and the Lord Bardolph,
With a great power of English and of Scots,
2580Are by the shrieve of Yorkshire overthrown.
The manner and true order of the fight
This packet, please it you, contains at large.

He gives the King papers.

KING

110And wherefore should these good news make me
sick?
2585Will Fortune never come with both hands full,
But write her fair words still in foulest letters?
She either gives a stomach and no food—
115Such are the poor, in health—or else a feast
And takes away the stomach—such are the rich,
2590That have abundance and enjoy it not.
I should rejoice now at this happy news,
And now my sight fails, and my brain is giddy.
120O, me! Come near me, now I am much ill.

HUMPHREY OF GLOUCESTER

Comfort, your Majesty.

THOMAS OF CLARENCE

2595O, my royal father!

WESTMORELAND

My sovereign lord, cheer up yourself, look up.

WARWICK

Be patient, princes. You do know these fits
125Are with his Highness very ordinary.
Stand from him, give him air. He’ll straight be
2600well.

THOMAS OF CLARENCE

No, no, he cannot long hold out these pangs.
Th’ incessant care and labor of his mind
130Hath wrought the mure that should confine it in
So thin that life looks through and will break out.

HUMPHREY OF GLOUCESTER

2605The people fear me, for they do observe
Unfathered heirs and loathly births of nature.
The seasons change their manners, as the year
135Had found some months asleep and leapt them
over.

THOMAS OF CLARENCE

2610The river hath thrice flowed, no ebb between,
And the old folk, time’s doting chronicles,
Say it did so a little time before
140That our great-grandsire, Edward, sicked and died.

WARWICK

Speak lower, princes, for the King recovers.

HUMPHREY OF GLOUCESTER

2615This apoplexy will certain be his end.

KING

I pray you take me up and bear me hence
Into some other chamber. Softly, pray.
The King is carried to a bed on another
part of the stage.
145Let there be no noise made, my gentle friends,
Unless some dull and favorable hand
2620Will whisper music to my weary spirit.

WARWICK, to an Attendant

Call for the music in the other room.

KING

Set me the crown upon my pillow here.

The crown is placed on the bed.

THOMAS OF CLARENCE, aside to the others

150His eye is hollow, and he changes much.

WARWICK

Less noise, less noise.

Enter Prince Harry.

PRINCE

2625Who saw the Duke of Clarence?

THOMAS OF CLARENCE, weeping

I am here, brother, full of heaviness.

PRINCE

How now, rain within doors, and none abroad?
155How doth the King?

HUMPHREY OF GLOUCESTER

Exceeding ill.

PRINCE

2630Heard he the good news yet? Tell it him.

HUMPHREY OF GLOUCESTER

He altered much upon the hearing it.

PRINCE

If he be sick with joy, he’ll recover without
160physic.

WARWICK

Not so much noise, my lords.—Sweet prince, speak
2635low.
The King your father is disposed to sleep.

THOMAS OF CLARENCE

Let us withdraw into the other room.

WARWICK

165Will ’t please your Grace to go along with us?

PRINCE

No, I will sit and watch here by the King.
All but Prince and King exit.
2640Why doth the crown lie there upon his pillow,
Being so troublesome a bedfellow?
O polished perturbation, golden care,
170That keep’st the ports of slumber open wide
To many a watchful night! Sleep with it now;
2645Yet not so sound and half so deeply sweet
As he whose brow with homely biggen bound
Snores out the watch of night. O majesty,
175When thou dost pinch thy bearer, thou dost sit
Like a rich armor worn in heat of day,
2650That scald’st with safety. By his gates of breath
There lies a downy feather which stirs not;
Did he suspire, that light and weightless down
180Perforce must move. My gracious lord, my father,
This sleep is sound indeed. This is a sleep
2655That from this golden rigol hath divorced
So many English kings. Thy due from me
Is tears and heavy sorrows of the blood,
185Which nature, love, and filial tenderness
Shall, O dear father, pay thee plenteously.
2660My due from thee is this imperial crown,
Which, as immediate from thy place and blood,
Derives itself to me. He puts on the crown. Lo,
190where it sits,
Which God shall guard. And, put the world’s whole
2665strength
Into one giant arm, it shall not force
This lineal honor from me. This from thee
195Will I to mine leave, as ’tis left to me.

He exits with the crown.

KING, rising up in his bed

Warwick! Gloucester!
2670Clarence!

Enter Warwick, Gloucester, Clarence, and others.

THOMAS OF CLARENCE

Doth the King call?

WARWICK

What would your Majesty? How fares your Grace?

KING

200Why did you leave me here alone, my lords?

THOMAS OF CLARENCE

We left the Prince my brother here, my liege,
2675Who undertook to sit and watch by you.

KING

The Prince of Wales? Where is he? Let me see him.
He is not here.

WARWICK

205This door is open. He is gone this way.

HUMPHREY OF GLOUCESTER

He came not through the chamber where we
2680stayed.

KING

Where is the crown? Who took it from my pillow?

WARWICK

When we withdrew, my liege, we left it here.

KING

210The Prince hath ta’en it hence. Go seek him out.
Is he so hasty that he doth suppose my sleep my
2685death?
Find him, my Lord of Warwick. Chide him hither.
Warwick exits.
This part of his conjoins with my disease
215And helps to end me. See, sons, what things you
are,
2690How quickly nature falls into revolt
When gold becomes her object!
For this the foolish overcareful fathers
220Have broke their sleep with thoughts,
Their brains with care, their bones with industry.
2695For this they have engrossèd and piled up
The cankered heaps of strange-achievèd gold.
For this they have been thoughtful to invest
225Their sons with arts and martial exercises—
When, like the bee, tolling from every flower
2700The virtuous sweets,
Our thighs packed with wax, our mouths with
honey,
230We bring it to the hive and, like the bees,
Are murdered for our pains. This bitter taste
2705Yields his engrossments to the ending father.

Enter Warwick.

Now where is he that will not stay so long
Till his friend sickness hath determined me?

WARWICK

235My lord, I found the Prince in the next room,
Washing with kindly tears his gentle cheeks,
2710With such a deep demeanor in great sorrow
That tyranny, which never quaffed but blood,
Would, by beholding him, have washed his knife
240With gentle eyedrops. He is coming hither.

KING

But wherefore did he take away the crown?

Enter Prince Harry with the crown.

2715Lo where he comes.—Come hither to me, Harry.—
Depart the chamber. Leave us here alone.

Gloucester, Clarence, Warwick, and others exit.

PRINCE

I never thought to hear you speak again.

KING

245Thy wish was father, Harry, to that thought.
I stay too long by thee; I weary thee.
2720Dost thou so hunger for mine empty chair
That thou wilt needs invest thee with my honors
Before thy hour be ripe? O foolish youth,
250Thou seek’st the greatness that will overwhelm
thee.
2725Stay but a little, for my cloud of dignity
Is held from falling with so weak a wind
That it will quickly drop. My day is dim.
255Thou hast stol’n that which after some few hours
Were thine without offense, and at my death
2730Thou hast sealed up my expectation.
Thy life did manifest thou loved’st me not,
And thou wilt have me die assured of it.
260Thou hid’st a thousand daggers in thy thoughts,
Whom thou hast whetted on thy stony heart
2735To stab at half an hour of my life.
What, canst thou not forbear me half an hour?
Then get thee gone, and dig my grave thyself,
265And bid the merry bells ring to thine ear
That thou art crownèd, not that I am dead.
2740Let all the tears that should bedew my hearse
Be drops of balm to sanctify thy head;
Only compound me with forgotten dust.
270Give that which gave thee life unto the worms.
Pluck down my officers, break my decrees,
2745For now a time is come to mock at form.
Harry the Fifth is crowned. Up, vanity,
Down, royal state, all you sage councillors,
275hence,
And to the English court assemble now,
2750From every region, apes of idleness.
Now, neighbor confines, purge you of your scum.
Have you a ruffian that will swear, drink, dance,
280Revel the night, rob, murder, and commit
The oldest sins the newest kind of ways?
2755Be happy, he will trouble you no more.
England shall double gild his treble guilt.
England shall give him office, honor, might,
285For the fifth Harry from curbed license plucks
The muzzle of restraint, and the wild dog
2760Shall flesh his tooth on every innocent.
O my poor kingdom, sick with civil blows!
When that my care could not withhold thy riots,
290What wilt thou do when riot is thy care?
O, thou wilt be a wilderness again,
2765Peopled with wolves, thy old inhabitants.

PRINCE, placing the crown on the pillow

O pardon me, my liege! But for my tears,
The moist impediments unto my speech,
295I had forestalled this dear and deep rebuke
Ere you with grief had spoke and I had heard
2770The course of it so far. There is your crown,
And He that wears the crown immortally
Long guard it yours. He kneels. If I affect it
300more
Than as your honor and as your renown,
2775Let me no more from this obedience rise,
Which my most inward true and duteous spirit
Teacheth this prostrate and exterior bending.
305God witness with me, when I here came in
And found no course of breath within your Majesty,
2780How cold it struck my heart! If I do feign,
O, let me in my present wildness die
And never live to show th’ incredulous world
310The noble change that I have purposèd.
Coming to look on you, thinking you dead,
2785And dead almost, my liege, to think you were,
I spake unto this crown as having sense,
And thus upbraided it: “The care on thee
315depending
Hath fed upon the body of my father;
2790Therefore thou best of gold art worst of gold.
Other, less fine in carat, is more precious,
Preserving life in med’cine potable;
320But thou, most fine, most honored, most renowned,
Hast eat thy bearer up.” Thus, my most royal liege,
2795Accusing it, I put it on my head
To try with it, as with an enemy
That had before my face murdered my father,
325The quarrel of a true inheritor.
But if it did infect my blood with joy
2800Or swell my thoughts to any strain of pride,
If any rebel or vain spirit of mine
Did with the least affection of a welcome
330Give entertainment to the might of it,
Let God forever keep it from my head
2805And make me as the poorest vassal is
That doth with awe and terror kneel to it.

KING

O my son,
335God put it in thy mind to take it hence
That thou mightst win the more thy father’s love,
2810Pleading so wisely in excuse of it.
Come hither, Harry, sit thou by my bed
And hear, I think, the very latest counsel
340That ever I shall breathe.
The Prince rises from his knees and sits
near the bed.
God knows, my son,
2815By what bypaths and indirect crook’d ways
I met this crown, and I myself know well
How troublesome it sat upon my head.
345To thee it shall descend with better quiet,
Better opinion, better confirmation,
2820For all the soil of the achievement goes
With me into the earth. It seemed in me
But as an honor snatched with boist’rous hand,
350And I had many living to upbraid
My gain of it by their assistances,
2825Which daily grew to quarrel and to bloodshed,
Wounding supposèd peace. All these bold fears
Thou seest with peril I have answerèd,
355For all my reign hath been but as a scene
Acting that argument. And now my death
2830Changes the mood, for what in me was purchased
Falls upon thee in a more fairer sort.
So thou the garland wear’st successively.
360Yet though thou stand’st more sure than I could do,
Thou art not firm enough, since griefs are green,
2835And all my friends, which thou must make thy
friends,
Have but their stings and teeth newly ta’en out,
365By whose fell working I was first advanced
And by whose power I well might lodge a fear
2840To be again displaced; which to avoid,
I cut them off and had a purpose now
To lead out many to the Holy Land,
370Lest rest and lying still might make them look
Too near unto my state. Therefore, my Harry,
2845Be it thy course to busy giddy minds
With foreign quarrels, that action, hence borne
out,
375May waste the memory of the former days.
More would I, but my lungs are wasted so
2850That strength of speech is utterly denied me.
How I came by the crown, O God forgive,
And grant it may with thee in true peace live.

PRINCE

380My gracious liege,
You won it, wore it, kept it, gave it me.
2855Then plain and right must my possession be,
Which I with more than with a common pain
’Gainst all the world will rightfully maintain.

Enter John of Lancaster and others.

KING

385Look, look, here comes my John of Lancaster.

JOHN OF LANCASTER

Health, peace, and happiness to my royal father.

KING

2860Thou bring’st me happiness and peace, son John,
But health, alack, with youthful wings is flown
From this bare withered trunk. Upon thy sight
390My worldly business makes a period.
Where is my Lord of Warwick?

PRINCE

2865My Lord of Warwick.

Enter Warwick.

KING

Doth any name particular belong
Unto the lodging where I first did swoon?

WARWICK

395’Tis called Jerusalem, my noble lord.

KING

Laud be to God! Even there my life must end.
2870It hath been prophesied to me many years,
I should not die but in Jerusalem,
Which vainly I supposed the Holy Land.
400But bear me to that chamber; there I’ll lie.
In that Jerusalem shall Harry die.

They exit.

ACT 5

Scene 1

Enter Shallow, Falstaff, Page, and Bardolph.

SHALLOW

2875By cock and pie, sir, you shall not away
tonight.—What, Davy, I say!

FALSTAFF

You must excuse me, Master Robert Shallow.

SHALLOW

I will not excuse you. You shall not be
5excused. Excuses shall not be admitted. There is no
2880excuse shall serve. You shall not be excused.—
Why, Davy!

Enter Davy.

DAVY

Here, sir.

SHALLOW

Davy, Davy, Davy, Davy, let me see, Davy, let
10me see, Davy, let me see. Yea, marry, William cook,
2885bid him come hither.—Sir John, you shall not be
excused.

DAVY

Marry, sir, thus: those precepts cannot be served.
And again, sir: shall we sow the hade land with
15wheat?

SHALLOW

2890With red wheat, Davy. But for William cook,
are there no young pigeons?

DAVY

Yes, sir. Here is now the smith’s note for shoeing
and plow irons.

He gives Shallow a paper.

SHALLOW

20Let it be cast and paid.—Sir John, you shall
2895not be excused.

DAVY

Now, sir, a new link to the bucket must needs be
had. And, sir, do you mean to stop any of William’s
wages about the sack he lost the other day at
25Hinckley Fair?

SHALLOW

2900He shall answer it. Some pigeons, Davy, a
couple of short-legged hens, a joint of mutton, and
any pretty little tiny kickshaws, tell William cook.

Shallow and Davy walk aside.

DAVY

Doth the man of war stay all night, sir?

SHALLOW

30Yea, Davy, I will use him well. A friend i’ th’
2905court is better than a penny in purse. Use his men
well, Davy, for they are arrant knaves and will
backbite.

DAVY

No worse than they are back-bitten, sir, for they
35have marvelous foul linen.

SHALLOW

2910Well-conceited, Davy. About thy business,
Davy.

DAVY

I beseech you, sir, to countenance William Visor
of Woncot against Clement Perkes o’ th’ hill.

SHALLOW

40There is many complaints, Davy, against that
2915Visor. That Visor is an arrant knave, on my
knowledge.

DAVY

I grant your Worship that he is a knave, sir, but
yet, God forbid, sir, but a knave should have some
45countenance at his friend’s request. An honest
2920man, sir, is able to speak for himself when a knave is
not. I have served your Worship truly, sir, this eight
years; an I cannot once or twice in a quarter bear
out a knave against an honest man, I have but a
50very little credit with your Worship. The knave is
2925mine honest friend, sir; therefore I beseech you let
him be countenanced.

SHALLOW

Go to, I say, he shall have no wrong. Look
about, Davy. Davy exits. Where are you, Sir John?
55Come, come, come, off with your boots.—Give me
2930your hand, Master Bardolph.

BARDOLPH

I am glad to see your Worship.

SHALLOW

I thank thee with all my heart, kind Master
Bardolph, (to Page) and welcome, my tall
60fellow.—Come, Sir John.

FALSTAFF

2935I’ll follow you, good Master Robert Shallow.
Shallow exits. Bardolph, look to our horses. Bardolph
and Page exit. If I were sawed into quantities,
I should make four dozen of such bearded hermits’
65staves as Master Shallow. It is a wonderful thing to
2940see the semblable coherence of his men’s spirits
and his. They, by observing of him, do bear
themselves like foolish justices; he, by conversing
with them, is turned into a justice-like servingman.
70Their spirits are so married in conjunction with the
2945participation of society that they flock together in
consent like so many wild geese. If I had a suit to
Master Shallow, I would humor his men with the
imputation of being near their master; if to his men,
75I would curry with Master Shallow that no man
2950could better command his servants. It is certain
that either wise bearing or ignorant carriage is
caught, as men take diseases, one of another. Therefore
let men take heed of their company. I will
80devise matter enough out of this Shallow to keep
2955Prince Harry in continual laughter the wearing out
of six fashions, which is four terms, or two actions,
and he shall laugh without intervallums. O, it is
much that a lie with a slight oath and a jest with a
85sad brow will do with a fellow that never had the
2960ache in his shoulders. O, you shall see him laugh till
his face be like a wet cloak ill laid up.

SHALLOW, within

Sir John.

FALSTAFF

I come, Master Shallow, I come, Master
90Shallow.

He exits.

Scene 2

Enter Warwick and Lord Chief Justice.

WARWICK

2965How now, my Lord Chief Justice, whither away?

CHIEF JUSTICE

How doth the King?

WARWICK

Exceeding well. His cares are now all ended.

CHIEF JUSTICE

I hope, not dead.

WARWICK

5He’s walked the way of nature,
2970And to our purposes he lives no more.

CHIEF JUSTICE

I would his Majesty had called me with him.
The service that I truly did his life
Hath left me open to all injuries.

WARWICK

10Indeed, I think the young king loves you not.

CHIEF JUSTICE

2975I know he doth not, and do arm myself
To welcome the condition of the time,
Which cannot look more hideously upon me
Than I have drawn it in my fantasy.

Enter John, Thomas, and Humphrey.

WARWICK

15Here come the heavy issue of dead Harry.
2980O, that the living Harry had the temper
Of he the worst of these three gentlemen!
How many nobles then should hold their places
That must strike sail to spirits of vile sort!

CHIEF JUSTICE

20O God, I fear all will be overturned.

JOHN OF LANCASTER

2985Good morrow, cousin Warwick, good morrow.

HUMPHREY OF GLOUCESTER, THOMAS OF CLARENCE

Good morrow, cousin.

JOHN OF LANCASTER

We meet like men that had forgot to speak.

WARWICK

We do remember, but our argument
25Is all too heavy to admit much talk.

JOHN OF LANCASTER

2990Well, peace be with him that hath made us heavy.

CHIEF JUSTICE

Peace be with us, lest we be heavier.

HUMPHREY OF GLOUCESTER

O, good my lord, you have lost a friend indeed,
And I dare swear you borrow not that face
30Of seeming sorrow; it is sure your own.

JOHN OF LANCASTER, to the Chief Justice

2995Though no man be assured what grace to find,
You stand in coldest expectation.
I am the sorrier; would ’twere otherwise.

THOMAS OF CLARENCE

Well, you must now speak Sir John Falstaff fair,
35Which swims against your stream of quality.

CHIEF JUSTICE

3000Sweet princes, what I did I did in honor,
Led by th’ impartial conduct of my soul;
And never shall you see that I will beg
A ragged and forestalled remission.
40If truth and upright innocency fail me,
3005I’ll to the king my master that is dead
And tell him who hath sent me after him.

Enter the Prince, as Henry V, and Blunt.

WARWICK

Here comes the Prince.

CHIEF JUSTICE

Good morrow, and God save your Majesty.

PRINCE

45This new and gorgeous garment majesty
3010Sits not so easy on me as you think.—
Brothers, you mix your sadness with some fear.
This is the English, not the Turkish court;
Not Amurath an Amurath succeeds,
50But Harry Harry. Yet be sad, good brothers,
3015For, by my faith, it very well becomes you.
Sorrow so royally in you appears
That I will deeply put the fashion on
And wear it in my heart. Why then, be sad.
55But entertain no more of it, good brothers,
3020Than a joint burden laid upon us all.
For me, by heaven, I bid you be assured,
I’ll be your father and your brother too.
Let me but bear your love, I’ll bear your cares.
60Yet weep that Harry’s dead, and so will I,
3025But Harry lives that shall convert those tears
By number into hours of happiness.

BROTHERS

We hope no otherwise from your Majesty.

PRINCE

You all look strangely on me. To the Chief Justice.
65And you most.
3030You are, I think, assured I love you not.

CHIEF JUSTICE

I am assured, if I be measured rightly,
Your Majesty hath no just cause to hate me.

PRINCE

No? How might a prince of my great hopes forget
70So great indignities you laid upon me?
3035What, rate, rebuke, and roughly send to prison
Th’ immediate heir of England? Was this easy?
May this be washed in Lethe and forgotten?

CHIEF JUSTICE

I then did use the person of your father;
75The image of his power lay then in me.
3040And in th’ administration of his law,
Whiles I was busy for the commonwealth,
Your Highness pleasèd to forget my place,
The majesty and power of law and justice,
80The image of the King whom I presented,
3045And struck me in my very seat of judgment,
Whereon, as an offender to your father,
I gave bold way to my authority
And did commit you. If the deed were ill,
85Be you contented, wearing now the garland,
3050To have a son set your decrees at nought?
To pluck down justice from your awful bench?
To trip the course of law and blunt the sword
That guards the peace and safety of your person?
90Nay more, to spurn at your most royal image
3055And mock your workings in a second body?
Question your royal thoughts, make the case yours;
Be now the father and propose a son,
Hear your own dignity so much profaned,
95See your most dreadful laws so loosely slighted,
3060Behold yourself so by a son disdained,
And then imagine me taking your part
And in your power soft silencing your son.
After this cold considerance, sentence me,
100And, as you are a king, speak in your state
3065What I have done that misbecame my place,
My person, or my liege’s sovereignty.

PRINCE

You are right, justice, and you weigh this well.
Therefore still bear the balance and the sword.
105And I do wish your honors may increase
3070Till you do live to see a son of mine
Offend you and obey you as I did.
So shall I live to speak my father’s words:
“Happy am I that have a man so bold
110That dares do justice on my proper son;
3075And not less happy, having such a son
That would deliver up his greatness so
Into the hands of justice.” You did commit me,
For which I do commit into your hand
115Th’ unstainèd sword that you have used to bear,
3080With this remembrance: that you use the same
With the like bold, just, and impartial spirit
As you have done ’gainst me. There is my hand.
They clasp hands.
You shall be as a father to my youth,
120My voice shall sound as you do prompt mine ear,
3085And I will stoop and humble my intents
To your well-practiced wise directions.—
And, princes all, believe me, I beseech you:
My father is gone wild into his grave,
125For in his tomb lie my affections,
3090And with his spirits sadly I survive
To mock the expectation of the world,
To frustrate prophecies, and to raze out
Rotten opinion, who hath writ me down
130After my seeming. The tide of blood in me
3095Hath proudly flowed in vanity till now.
Now doth it turn and ebb back to the sea,
Where it shall mingle with the state of floods
And flow henceforth in formal majesty.
135Now call we our high court of parliament,
3100And let us choose such limbs of noble counsel
That the great body of our state may go
In equal rank with the best-governed nation;
That war, or peace, or both at once, may be
140As things acquainted and familiar to us,
3105To the Chief Justice. In which you, father, shall
have foremost hand.
Our coronation done, we will accite,
As I before remembered, all our state.
145And, God consigning to my good intents,
3110No prince nor peer shall have just cause to say
God shorten Harry’s happy life one day.

They exit.

Scene 3

Enter Sir John Falstaff, Shallow, Silence, Davy,
Bardolph, and Page.

SHALLOW

Nay, you shall see my orchard, where, in an
arbor, we will eat a last year’s pippin of mine own
graffing, with a dish of caraways, and so forth.—
3115Come, cousin Silence.—And then to bed.

FALSTAFF

5Fore God, you have here a goodly dwelling,
and a rich.

SHALLOW

Barren, barren, barren, beggars all, beggars
all, Sir John. Marry, good air.—Spread, Davy,
3120spread, Davy. Well said, Davy.

FALSTAFF

10This Davy serves you for good uses. He is
your servingman and your husband.

SHALLOW

A good varlet, a good varlet, a very good
varlet, Sir John. By the Mass, I have drunk too
3125much sack at supper. A good varlet. Now sit down,
15now sit down.—Come, cousin.

SILENCE

Ah, sirrah, quoth he, we shall
Sings. Do nothing but eat and make good cheer,
And praise God for the merry year,
3130When flesh is cheap and females dear,
20And lusty lads roam here and there
So merrily,
And ever among so merrily.

FALSTAFF

There’s a merry heart!—Good Master Silence,
3135I’ll give you a health for that anon.

SHALLOW

25Give Master Bardolph some wine, Davy.

DAVY, to the guests

Sweet sir, sit. I’ll be with you
anon. Most sweet sir, sit. Master page, good master
page, sit. Proface. What you want in meat, we’ll
3140have in drink, but you must bear. The heart’s all.

He exits.

SHALLOW

30Be merry, Master Bardolph.—And, my little
soldier there, be merry.

SILENCE sings

Be merry, be merry, my wife has all,
For women are shrews, both short and tall.
3145’Tis merry in hall when beards wags all,
35And welcome merry Shrovetide.
Be merry, be merry.

FALSTAFF

I did not think Master Silence had been a
man of this mettle.

SILENCE

3150Who, I? I have been merry twice and once ere
40now.

Enter Davy.

DAVY, to the guests

There’s a dish of leather-coats for
you.

SHALLOW

Davy!

DAVY

3155Your Worship, I’ll be with you straight.—A cup
45of wine, sir.

SILENCE sings

A cup of wine that’s brisk and fine,
And drink unto thee, leman mine,
And a merry heart lives long-a.

FALSTAFF

3160Well said, Master Silence.

SILENCE

50And we shall be merry; now comes in the
sweet o’ th’ night.

FALSTAFF

Health and long life to you, Master Silence.

SILENCE sings

Fill the cup, and let it come,
3165I’ll pledge you a mile to th’ bottom.

SHALLOW

55Honest Bardolph, welcome. If thou want’st
anything and wilt not call, beshrew thy heart.—
Welcome, my little tiny thief, and welcome indeed
too. I’ll drink to Master Bardolph, and to all the
3170cabileros about London.

DAVY

60I hope to see London once ere I die.

BARDOLPH

An I might see you there, Davy!

SHALLOW

By the Mass, you’ll crack a quart together,
ha, will you not, Master Bardolph?

BARDOLPH

3175Yea, sir, in a pottle-pot.

SHALLOW

65By God’s liggens, I thank thee. The knave
will stick by thee, I can assure thee that. He will not
out, he. ’Tis true bred!

BARDOLPH

And I’ll stick by him, sir.

SHALLOW

3180Why, there spoke a king. Lack nothing, be
70merry. (One knocks at door.) Look who’s at door
there, ho. Who knocks?

Davy exits.

FALSTAFF

Why, now you have done me right.

SILENCE sings

Do me right,
3185And dub me knight,
75Samingo.
Is ’t not so?

FALSTAFF

’Tis so.

SILENCE

Is ’t so? Why then, say an old man can do
3190somewhat.

Enter Davy.

DAVY

80An ’t please your Worship, there’s one Pistol
come from the court with news.

FALSTAFF

From the court? Let him come in.

Enter Pistol.

How now, Pistol?

PISTOL

3195Sir John, God save you.

FALSTAFF

85What wind blew you hither, Pistol?

PISTOL

Not the ill wind which blows no man to good.
Sweet knight, thou art now one of the greatest men
in this realm.

SILENCE

3200By ’r Lady, I think he be, but Goodman Puff of
90Barson.

PISTOL

Puff?
Puff in thy teeth, most recreant coward base!—
Sir John, I am thy Pistol and thy friend,
3205And helter-skelter have I rode to thee,
95And tidings do I bring, and lucky joys,
And golden times, and happy news of price.

FALSTAFF

I pray thee now, deliver them like a man of
this world.

PISTOL

3210A foutre for the world and worldlings base!
100I speak of Africa and golden joys.

FALSTAFF

O base Assyrian knight, what is thy news?
Let King Cophetua know the truth thereof.

SILENCE sings

And Robin Hood, Scarlet, and John.

PISTOL

3215Shall dunghill curs confront the Helicons,
105And shall good news be baffled?
Then, Pistol, lay thy head in Furies’ lap.

SHALLOW

Honest gentleman, I know not your
breeding.

PISTOL

3220Why then, lament therefor.

SHALLOW

110Give me pardon, sir. If, sir, you come with
news from the court, I take it there’s but two ways,
either to utter them, or to conceal them. I am, sir,
under the King in some authority.

PISTOL

3225Under which king, besonian? Speak or die.

SHALLOW

115Under King Harry.

PISTOL

Harry the Fourth, or Fifth?

SHALLOW

Harry the Fourth.

PISTOL

A foutre for thine office!—
3230Sir John, thy tender lambkin now is king.
120Harry the Fifth’s the man. I speak the truth.
When Pistol lies, do this and fig me, like
The bragging Spaniard.

Pistol makes a fig.

FALSTAFF

What, is the old king dead?

PISTOL

3235As nail in door. The things I speak are just.

FALSTAFF

125Away, Bardolph.—Saddle my horse.—
Master Robert Shallow, choose what office thou
wilt in the land, ’tis thine.—Pistol, I will double-charge
thee with dignities.

BARDOLPH

3240O joyful day! I would not take a knight-hood
130for my fortune.

PISTOL

What, I do bring good news!

FALSTAFF

Carry Master Silence to bed.—Master Shallow,
my Lord Shallow, be what thou wilt. I am
3245Fortune’s steward. Get on thy boots. We’ll ride all
135night.—O sweet Pistol!—Away, Bardolph!—Come,
Pistol, utter more to me, and withal devise something
to do thyself good.—Boot, boot, Master Shallow.
I know the young king is sick for me. Let us
3250take any man’s horses. The laws of England are at
140my commandment. Blessed are they that have been
my friends, and woe to my Lord Chief Justice!

PISTOL

Let vultures vile seize on his lungs also!
“Where is the life that late I led?” say they.
3255Why, here it is. Welcome these pleasant days.

They exit.

Scene 4

Enter Hostess Quickly, Doll Tearsheet, and Beadles.

HOSTESS

No, thou arrant knave. I would to God that I
might die, that I might have thee hanged. Thou hast
drawn my shoulder out of joint.

BEADLE

The Constables have delivered her over to me,
53260and she shall have whipping cheer enough, I
warrant her. There hath been a man or two lately
killed about her.

DOLL

Nut-hook, nut-hook, you lie! Come on, I’ll tell
thee what, thou damned tripe-visaged rascal: an the
103265child I now go with do miscarry, thou wert better
thou hadst struck thy mother, thou paper-faced
villain.

HOSTESS

O the Lord, that Sir John were come! I would
make this a bloody day to somebody. But I pray God
153270the fruit of her womb might miscarry.

BEADLE

If it do, you shall have a dozen of cushions
again; you have but eleven now. Come, I charge you
both go with me, for the man is dead that you and
Pistol beat amongst you.

DOLL

203275I’ll tell you what, you thin man in a censer, I will
have you as soundly swinged for this, you bluebottle
rogue, you filthy famished correctioner. If you be
not swinged, I’ll forswear half-kirtles.

BEADLE

Come, come, you she-knight-errant, come.

HOSTESS

253280O God, that right should thus overcome
might! Well, of sufferance comes ease.

DOLL

Come, you rogue, come, bring me to a justice.

HOSTESS

Ay, come, you starved bloodhound.

DOLL

Goodman Death, Goodman Bones!

HOSTESS

303285Thou atomy, thou!

DOLL

Come, you thin thing, come, you rascal.

BEADLE

Very well.

They exit.

Scene 5

Enter two Grooms.

FIRST GROOM

More rushes, more rushes.

SECOND GROOM

The trumpets have sounded twice.

FIRST GROOM

3290’Twill be two o’clock ere they come
from the coronation. Dispatch, dispatch.

Grooms exit.Trumpets sound, and the King and his train pass over
the stage. After them enter Falstaff, Shallow, Pistol,
Bardolph, and the Page.

FALSTAFF

5Stand here by me, Master Robert Shallow. I
will make the King do you grace. I will leer upon
him as he comes by, and do but mark the countenance
3295that he will give me.

PISTOL

God bless thy lungs, good knight!

FALSTAFF

10Come here, Pistol, stand behind me.—O, if I
had had time to have made new liveries, I would
have bestowed the thousand pound I borrowed of
3300you. But ’tis no matter. This poor show doth better.
This doth infer the zeal I had to see him.

SHALLOW

15It doth so.

FALSTAFF

It shows my earnestness of affection—

SHALLOW

It doth so.

FALSTAFF

3305My devotion—

SHALLOW

It doth, it doth, it doth.

FALSTAFF

20As it were, to ride day and night, and not to
deliberate, not to remember, not to have patience
to shift me—

SHALLOW

3310It is best, certain.

FALSTAFF

But to stand stained with travel and sweating
25with desire to see him, thinking of nothing else,
putting all affairs else in oblivion, as if there were
nothing else to be done but to see him.

PISTOL

3315’Tis semper idem, for obsque hoc nihil est; ’tis
all in every part.

SHALLOW

30’Tis so indeed.

PISTOL

My knight, I will inflame thy noble liver, and
make thee rage. Thy Doll and Helen of thy noble
3320thoughts is in base durance and contagious prison,
haled thither by most mechanical and dirty hand.
35Rouse up revenge from ebon den with fell Alecto’s
snake, for Doll is in. Pistol speaks nought but truth.

FALSTAFF

I will deliver her.

Shouts within. The trumpets sound.

PISTOL

3325There roared the sea, and trumpet-clangor sounds.

Enter the King and his train.

FALSTAFF

God save thy Grace, King Hal, my royal Hal.

PISTOL

40The heavens thee guard and keep, most royal
imp of fame!

FALSTAFF

God save thee, my sweet boy!

KING

3330My Lord Chief Justice, speak to that vain man.

CHIEF JUSTICE, to Falstaff

Have you your wits? Know you what ’tis you
45speak?

FALSTAFF, to the King

My king, my Jove, I speak to thee, my heart!

KING

I know thee not, old man. Fall to thy prayers.
3335How ill white hairs becomes a fool and jester.
I have long dreamt of such a kind of man,
50So surfeit-swelled, so old, and so profane;
But being awaked, I do despise my dream.
Make less thy body hence, and more thy grace;
3340Leave gormandizing. Know the grave doth gape
For thee thrice wider than for other men.
55Reply not to me with a fool-born jest.
Presume not that I am the thing I was,
For God doth know—so shall the world perceive—
3345That I have turned away my former self.
So will I those that kept me company.
60When thou dost hear I am as I have been,
Approach me, and thou shalt be as thou wast,
The tutor and the feeder of my riots.
3350Till then I banish thee, on pain of death,
As I have done the rest of my misleaders,
65Not to come near our person by ten mile.
For competence of life I will allow you,
That lack of means enforce you not to evils.
3355And, as we hear you do reform yourselves,
We will, according to your strengths and qualities,
70Give you advancement. To the Lord Chief Justice.
Be it your charge, my lord,
To see performed the tenor of my word.—
3360Set on.

King and his train exit.

FALSTAFF

Master Shallow, I owe you a thousand pound.

SHALLOW

75Yea, marry, Sir John, which I beseech you to
let me have home with me.

FALSTAFF

That can hardly be, Master Shallow. Do not
3365you grieve at this. I shall be sent for in private to
him. Look you, he must seem thus to the world.
80Fear not your advancements. I will be the man yet
that shall make you great.

SHALLOW

I cannot well perceive how, unless you
3370should give me your doublet and stuff me out with
straw. I beseech you, good Sir John, let me have five
85hundred of my thousand.

FALSTAFF

Sir, I will be as good as my word. This that
you heard was but a color.

SHALLOW

3375A color that I fear you will die in, Sir John.

FALSTAFF

Fear no colors. Go with me to dinner.—
90Come, lieutenant Pistol.—Come, Bardolph.—I
shall be sent for soon at night.

Enter the Lord Chief Justice and Prince John, with
Officers.

CHIEF JUSTICE

Go, carry Sir John Falstaff to the Fleet.
3380Take all his company along with him.

FALSTAFF

My lord, my lord —

CHIEF JUSTICE

95I cannot now speak. I will hear you soon.—
Take them away.

PISTOL

Si fortuna me tormenta, spero me contenta.

All but John of Lancaster and
Chief Justice exit.

JOHN OF LANCASTER

3385I like this fair proceeding of the King’s.
He hath intent his wonted followers
100Shall all be very well provided for,
But all are banished till their conversations
Appear more wise and modest to the world.

CHIEF JUSTICE

3390And so they are.

JOHN OF LANCASTER

The King hath called his parliament, my lord.

CHIEF JUSTICE

105He hath.

JOHN OF LANCASTER

I will lay odds that, ere this year expire,
We bear our civil swords and native fire
3395As far as France. I heard a bird so sing,
Whose music, to my thinking, pleased the King.
110Come, will you hence?

They exit.

EPILOGUE